I'll be on my way to India next week, and I won't be back until the 2nd week of January. I have nothing important to say, so I'm just going to write about what's on my mind.
Lack of Excitement
I'm not at all excited about this upcoming trip to the land of the shitty toilet (no pun intended). Quite frankly, I don't like to travel; I prefer to remain in a single spot for an extended period of time. Plus, I'm quite enamored with my own country and therefore feel no reason to leave it, even if only temporarily. I suppose that I'm suffering from a smidgen of Americentrism, but can you blame me? And honestly -- this is going to sound absolutely RETARDED -- I'd rather visit Africa because I apparently have some deep-rooted identity issues: "I'm black, bitch!" Hopefully though, this trip will provide me with a greater appreciation for the culture from whence I derive. But don't expect any major changes in my personality, because I'll always be down like John Brown!
Glenn Beck on The Jay Leno Show
It was certainly interesting, to say the very least, to listen to Glenn Beck present his viewpoints. I have never watched his show, so I don't know what he's all about. I find him alright, at least in regards to personality, but I disagree with most of his statements. What really surprised me, though, is that he believes it's better to be judged by 12 farmers than 12 scholars. This makes absolutely zero sense to me, whatsoever. I love farmers and realize that many of them are quite intelligent, but I would rather be judged by somebody who has spent the majority of his or her life studying knowledge instead. I guess that for today, I'm going to have to just agree to disagree.
Western Tradition with Eugene Weber
I enjoy watching Western Tradition on the education channel from 6:00 to 6:30am, right before I go to bed. Professor Weber (R.I.P.) journeys from the beginning of civilization up to the 1980s. It's a great and entertaining way to learn the basics of history. But keep in mind that he takes a direct route from Mesopotamia to America, therefore completely skipping ancient Asian or African history. You do, however, get to learn about the Semites, Greeks (Plato, Socrates), Egyptians, etc. I'm not too good at remembering detailed information, but I do recall (at the very least) that it was the Athenian sophists who first discovered the concept of a 'free man.' Dayum, I wish I had been this focused on education when I was actually IN SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
George Lopez Reunion
I'm really glad that a rerun of Monique aired on Tuesday, because it allowed me an opportunity to tune into the George Lopez late night show for a change. He was hosting a 'George Lopez' reunion featuring all the original cast members. My favorite moment was when Constance Marie spoke about how during her youth, there weren't any shows featuring 'brown people.' If memory serves me correct, George Lopez is the first and only American to have ever brought a non-white and non-black lifestyle/culture to mainstream America via a family sitcom. He is indeed a role model, if not a hero.
Anyway. That's all I have to say for 2009.
pEaCe and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
PS.
I'm trying to better my grammar and it has me so freaking stressed out! I'm so obsessed with correctly placing commas and all that other shit, that it's making me unable to just write. I'll waste 30 minutes just researching 'do you have to put a comma before because'! Excuse my language, but I fucking hate grammar! Most of all, I hate that dayum Grammar Girl! My one and only wish for 2010 is that all the annoying-ass grammar geeks who constantly deride me for my improper grammar just disappear: POOF, BE GONE!
PS. 2 (just for the heck of it, since this post is so short)
Here's a quick list of things I enjoyed this week:
#1. The season finale of 'Lie to Me.'
#2. Poprah's unrelenting grip over the world in 'I Want to Work for Diddy.'
#3. Kari Anne's dismissal on 'Sex Rehab'; good riddance!
#4. Lil Wayne and Young Money Records on the Monique Show. (He may not be a genius, but he is a good man!)
#5. The reunion of the George Lopez show on the George Lopez talk show.
#6. Christina Applegate on the Jay Leno Show; she is so fine and down to Earth!
#7. Glenn Beck on the Jay Leno Show. I've never watched him before, so I appreciated the opportunity to get an idea of what he's all about.
#8. A House rerun featuring the Indian guy.
#9. The beautiful, lovely, and down-to-Earth Jenna from Tough Love, despite what that asshole Steven Ward says.
#10. My own writing, simply because I'm an egotistical, self-centered prick hahah. j/k.
Happy Christmas/Hanukkah/Family-Guy-Day/Diwali/Kwanzaa!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Friday, December 11th
Evening.
I don't have much to say this week. I've been reading a lot and I'm tired. Plus, it's December and my interest in writing lengthy self-centered blogs is going down pretty rapidly. I'm sure I'll have much more to say when I return from India in January. My brother, who works for 'One Laptop per Child,' is bringing along an OLPC laptop so that I can write down all my experiences. Upon my return, I'll port it to my desktop and probably submit it to Craigslist.
Tiger Woods Joke (courtesy of George 'G-Dub' Willborn)
Is it just me or does Tiger Woods have more white women than the Oprah Winfrey show!?
Sex Offenders
100-year-old sex offender Theodore Sypnier will soon be released from incarceration in NY after serving less than 10 years for raping and sodomizing two sisters. Mind you, the charge was later reversed on a technicality, after which he was jailed on a lesser sentence. Is it just me or are sex offenders getting off way too easy? Back in 2001, I was sentenced to eight years in prison for BURGLARY, a sentence which I admit was soon after rescinded due to my age and mental status. I vividly remember the day that I was sentenced though; there was a 45+ year old man who went in front of the judge right before me for raping a young girl. The creep was sentenced to only 8 years, which makes no sense whatsoever. How the heck do you sentence an 18 year old dummy to 8 years for burglary, and then hand the exact same sentence to a seasoned sex offender? Where the heck is the logic in that?
Law n Order SVU
SVU has received a bunch of bad press this week from conservatives, who are ticked off at its fictitious depiction of a conservative talk show host. I understand why they are upset, but I must point out that Law n Order has a long history of over-dramatizing what's happening in the real world. Although it's meant in some small part to relate to real life events, the overall goal is to entertain. For instance, even though I enjoy contemplating the issues that it brings up, I never ever allow its fictitious portrayal of society to interrupt my real-life interpretation of both domestic and international news. Keep in mind also that tonight's Law n Order came from an entirely opposite angle; 'Obama bots' were the evil perpetrators this time around. By the way, I don't appreciate being called an Obama bot! lol
Law n Order SVU
I appreciate the opening bit involving a hooker running from her 'Daddy.' I honestly once had the unfortunate experience of having to live with a pimp, and NO, he was not my Daddy! It was very unnerving to watch and listen to him perform his 'pimp duties'; he was ruthless, cold, and abusive to his girls. Although he promised them a nice life, he constantly berated them, and made them do whatever he wanted without question -- lest they suffer a beat-down. I mention this because the general public's attitude towards pimping and prostitution is not only uninformed, it's outright derogatory. A lot of these 'hoes' are merely young girls who came from a bad life and honestly don't know any better. And so they think a 'Daddy Mack' or whatever can save them by giving them shelter, buying them clothes, and taking care of their basic needs. It's a very sad situation that breaks my heart.
There was one girl who especially caught my attention. Her street name was Skittles and she was (and still is) partially deaf, and had almost no self-esteem. The irony is that she was absolutely beautiful; she had long, luscious red hear and eyes beaming with soul. Unfortunately, she was also quite slow and so made many mistakes, which resulted in horrific beat-downs that could be heard from halfway down the street. I must admit that I did nothing to protect her because I myself was scared of my roomie, and I quite frankly was and still am somewhat of a little biatch. By the time he kicked her out -- as he had become fed up with her -- she was covered with bruises, and was nearly always crying. I offered her free shelter devoid of any sexual expectations, but she refused and returned back to the streets. I pray that she is still okay, wherever she may currently be.
Wyclef Jean: 'From the Hut, to the Projects, to the Mansion'
Wyclef's new album illustrates his journey from poverty to success. It's especially meant to give credit to the 'refugees' who pull themselves up by their own bootstraps without complaint, and push forward toward their dreams. The best song, in my opinion, is 'Warrior's Anthem.' Also look out for his other hit single, 'Slumdog Millionaire.'
Celebrity Humanitarian Efforts
Why are people so darn cynical toward all the humanitarian efforts made by celebrities? George Clooney, Matt Damon, Wyclef Jean, Angelina Jolie, and Brad Pitt -- to name a few -- are not only talented actors, but they are also concerned human beings who don't mind going out of their way to help those in need. I don't worship these people or feel that they are any better than me, but I also don't go out my way to put them down. Of course, people may ask, "Well, why don't I receive attention for all the things I do?" Well, you're not famous. And quite frankly, I highly doubt that these celebrities choose to have their charitable actions displayed for all to see; it's merely the price of fame. This whole anti-Hollywood culture irritates me. An entertainer is no worse or better a person than you or I. So how are we to judge them so harshly, whether for their righteous or evil deeds? For instance, a lot of women are so enraged at Tiger's infidelity, even though the percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity (according to InfidelityFacts) in any relationship they've had is 54%. It just seems like such hypocrisy to me.
The Princess and the Frog
I'm excited about this movie and hope that everybody -- regardless of race, religion, sexuality, etc. -- can enjoy it.
In regards to race and color, I want to quote one of my role models, Mr. Michael Baisden:
"ISeeColor means just that, I see color. So often when you hear people say that race is not an issue, typically people respond, "I don't see color." Well, I do see color. And it is only by acknowledging the race (color) of a person that you show respect for the history and struggle of that ethnic group. Ignoring that is not only a mistake but shows a lack of tolerance for people who look different than you."
His point is that race does matter; it denotes a difference in heritage. Although I consider myself a full-fledged American, the truth is that I am quite different compared to my Black American, Chinese America, and White American friends because we come from different cultures. Mind you, we were all raised in America and so therefore share very similar traits and interests; but, there is still an underlying difference between us that should not only be recognized, but also RESPECTED. That, in my opinion, is the key to tolerance.
And so I recognize and respect the struggle of my Black American peers and welcome -- with OPEN ARMS -- this groundbreaking new Disney film!
Ya'll just better return the favor though when I blow up across America with my debut film: "The Technical Support Representative and his Curry Chicken"! :-D. lol. I'm an idiot.
Jim Norton (JAY LENO Show)
Jim is very funny, and I say this because Jim's humor is almost always based on adult content. I LIKE THAT, which is why I love Family Guy, but am not fond of the Simpsons.
I guess I had more to say than I realized. Whoops...
Obama Bot signing out!
I don't have much to say this week. I've been reading a lot and I'm tired. Plus, it's December and my interest in writing lengthy self-centered blogs is going down pretty rapidly. I'm sure I'll have much more to say when I return from India in January. My brother, who works for 'One Laptop per Child,' is bringing along an OLPC laptop so that I can write down all my experiences. Upon my return, I'll port it to my desktop and probably submit it to Craigslist.
Tiger Woods Joke (courtesy of George 'G-Dub' Willborn)
Is it just me or does Tiger Woods have more white women than the Oprah Winfrey show!?
Sex Offenders
100-year-old sex offender Theodore Sypnier will soon be released from incarceration in NY after serving less than 10 years for raping and sodomizing two sisters. Mind you, the charge was later reversed on a technicality, after which he was jailed on a lesser sentence. Is it just me or are sex offenders getting off way too easy? Back in 2001, I was sentenced to eight years in prison for BURGLARY, a sentence which I admit was soon after rescinded due to my age and mental status. I vividly remember the day that I was sentenced though; there was a 45+ year old man who went in front of the judge right before me for raping a young girl. The creep was sentenced to only 8 years, which makes no sense whatsoever. How the heck do you sentence an 18 year old dummy to 8 years for burglary, and then hand the exact same sentence to a seasoned sex offender? Where the heck is the logic in that?
Law n Order SVU
SVU has received a bunch of bad press this week from conservatives, who are ticked off at its fictitious depiction of a conservative talk show host. I understand why they are upset, but I must point out that Law n Order has a long history of over-dramatizing what's happening in the real world. Although it's meant in some small part to relate to real life events, the overall goal is to entertain. For instance, even though I enjoy contemplating the issues that it brings up, I never ever allow its fictitious portrayal of society to interrupt my real-life interpretation of both domestic and international news. Keep in mind also that tonight's Law n Order came from an entirely opposite angle; 'Obama bots' were the evil perpetrators this time around. By the way, I don't appreciate being called an Obama bot! lol
Law n Order SVU
I appreciate the opening bit involving a hooker running from her 'Daddy.' I honestly once had the unfortunate experience of having to live with a pimp, and NO, he was not my Daddy! It was very unnerving to watch and listen to him perform his 'pimp duties'; he was ruthless, cold, and abusive to his girls. Although he promised them a nice life, he constantly berated them, and made them do whatever he wanted without question -- lest they suffer a beat-down. I mention this because the general public's attitude towards pimping and prostitution is not only uninformed, it's outright derogatory. A lot of these 'hoes' are merely young girls who came from a bad life and honestly don't know any better. And so they think a 'Daddy Mack' or whatever can save them by giving them shelter, buying them clothes, and taking care of their basic needs. It's a very sad situation that breaks my heart.
There was one girl who especially caught my attention. Her street name was Skittles and she was (and still is) partially deaf, and had almost no self-esteem. The irony is that she was absolutely beautiful; she had long, luscious red hear and eyes beaming with soul. Unfortunately, she was also quite slow and so made many mistakes, which resulted in horrific beat-downs that could be heard from halfway down the street. I must admit that I did nothing to protect her because I myself was scared of my roomie, and I quite frankly was and still am somewhat of a little biatch. By the time he kicked her out -- as he had become fed up with her -- she was covered with bruises, and was nearly always crying. I offered her free shelter devoid of any sexual expectations, but she refused and returned back to the streets. I pray that she is still okay, wherever she may currently be.
Wyclef Jean: 'From the Hut, to the Projects, to the Mansion'
Wyclef's new album illustrates his journey from poverty to success. It's especially meant to give credit to the 'refugees' who pull themselves up by their own bootstraps without complaint, and push forward toward their dreams. The best song, in my opinion, is 'Warrior's Anthem.' Also look out for his other hit single, 'Slumdog Millionaire.'
Celebrity Humanitarian Efforts
Why are people so darn cynical toward all the humanitarian efforts made by celebrities? George Clooney, Matt Damon, Wyclef Jean, Angelina Jolie, and Brad Pitt -- to name a few -- are not only talented actors, but they are also concerned human beings who don't mind going out of their way to help those in need. I don't worship these people or feel that they are any better than me, but I also don't go out my way to put them down. Of course, people may ask, "Well, why don't I receive attention for all the things I do?" Well, you're not famous. And quite frankly, I highly doubt that these celebrities choose to have their charitable actions displayed for all to see; it's merely the price of fame. This whole anti-Hollywood culture irritates me. An entertainer is no worse or better a person than you or I. So how are we to judge them so harshly, whether for their righteous or evil deeds? For instance, a lot of women are so enraged at Tiger's infidelity, even though the percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity (according to InfidelityFacts) in any relationship they've had is 54%. It just seems like such hypocrisy to me.
The Princess and the Frog
I'm excited about this movie and hope that everybody -- regardless of race, religion, sexuality, etc. -- can enjoy it.
In regards to race and color, I want to quote one of my role models, Mr. Michael Baisden:
"ISeeColor means just that, I see color. So often when you hear people say that race is not an issue, typically people respond, "I don't see color." Well, I do see color. And it is only by acknowledging the race (color) of a person that you show respect for the history and struggle of that ethnic group. Ignoring that is not only a mistake but shows a lack of tolerance for people who look different than you."
His point is that race does matter; it denotes a difference in heritage. Although I consider myself a full-fledged American, the truth is that I am quite different compared to my Black American, Chinese America, and White American friends because we come from different cultures. Mind you, we were all raised in America and so therefore share very similar traits and interests; but, there is still an underlying difference between us that should not only be recognized, but also RESPECTED. That, in my opinion, is the key to tolerance.
And so I recognize and respect the struggle of my Black American peers and welcome -- with OPEN ARMS -- this groundbreaking new Disney film!
Ya'll just better return the favor though when I blow up across America with my debut film: "The Technical Support Representative and his Curry Chicken"! :-D. lol. I'm an idiot.
Jim Norton (JAY LENO Show)
Jim is very funny, and I say this because Jim's humor is almost always based on adult content. I LIKE THAT, which is why I love Family Guy, but am not fond of the Simpsons.
I guess I had more to say than I realized. Whoops...
Obama Bot signing out!
Friday, December 4th
I'm sorry about my post last week. I chose to be a funny little ass instead of just being myself. I forgot the reason why I began writing on craigslist in the first place: to relieve pent-up emotions and frustration. I'm going back to my roots this week! I'm not a comedian; I'm a writer, although I do get off on making the occasional really good joke. This post is a bit controversial though and so I apologize in advance. I have a lot on my mind and need to just let it loose.
Role Models
I consider Master P a role model; let me tell you why. Master P -- better known now as Mr. Percy Miller -- appeared on the Mo'Nique show earlier this week dressed in a nice suit. I was really impressed by the changes he's made; he's rid himself of the childish grill, taught himself to speak articulately, and educated himself about 'generational wealth.' You may still wonder though why somebody like Bill Gates isn't my idol instead. What the heck do I have in common with Mr. Gates? The guy is a BRILLIANT GENIUS. Mr. Miller, on the other hand, is an average-intelligent Joe who gradually rose up through the ranks. After acquiring fame and fortune, he spent years enjoying his youth, while also raising his wonderful son Romeo. Now that he's reached middle age (40), Mr. Miller has finally grown up all the way into an intelligent adult dedicated to bettering his community. He is in essence what I want to be one day: a great father, a successful artist/business-man, and a positive influence.
Growing Up
If I suddenly came upon $1,000,000+, this is how I would dedicate my money:
25% Investments
25% Savings
25% Equity (A Townhouse)
10% Family
5% Bills/Rent/Maintenance
5% Friends
4.5% Clothes/Jewelry/Car
.5% PARTTTYYYYY!
Why 4.5% for clothes and .5% for partying? I'm still very young and truthfully, I want to have fun. I dream of wearing fly clothes, sporting a nappy grill, and riding around town in a fancy car stocked with a batch of fine Ladies. I had a pretty crappy highschool experience and would really appreciate the opportunity to partake in the fun that many of my peers enjoyed during their youth. I guess I'm immature, but I honestly am in no hurry to grow up. The point that I'm trying to make is that we all grow up at our own pace. I hate being asked, "When are you going to grow up?" Kiss my butt and let me live!
Reverend Al Sharpton
Although Mr. Sharpton is quite controversial, I nonetheless think very highly of him. 'Pa Pah' -- as Mo'Nique refers to him -- made an appearance on the Mo'Nique show earlier this week, and has made quite a few appearances on the Michael Baisden show as well. I've always liked him, despite how the media tries to portray him. He presents himself humbly, but with intent and passion. I realize that some of his viewpoints are a little tough to swallow, and that he sometimes comes off as a racist; but I truly believe he is just a humble man who may perhaps be a little too wrapped up in the past -- as in the horrific actions perpetrated against black people in the PAST. I'm trying to be very PC here (so as to not offend either side), while still defending my love and respect for this great man. I also realize that I'm opening myself up to some extreme criticism, and I understand that. The bottom line is that he cares very much about the black community -- no different than an American Indian fighting for reservation rights; a homosexual pleading for gay marriage; or an Indian trying to bring Bollywood culture to America. Sometimes the Reverend is right and at other times he is straight-up wrong. No matter though because at the end of the day, he is still a good man -- at least in my eyes he is.
Gay People
Speaking of homosexuals, I am getting a little frustrated with all the anti-gay sentiment running rampant on the Internet. Ever since the Adam Lambert fiasco -- which even brought forth the attention of La Hipócrita de Numero Uno Michelle Malkin -- the anti-gay community has been proclaiming their disgust at being forced to behold the 'homosexual agenda'. Homosexuals are forced to watch us straight folk kiss, make out, and do God knows what else every single damn day on television and elsewhere. I'm so fed up with all the bloody hypocrisy, as well as the non-stop WHINING. "They're ruining our country!" "They're messing with our children's minds!" "They are corrupting society!" It's ignorance, intolerance, and apathy that is corroding society. Every other which way, another 'hater' can be found bunched up in a corner, hurling wanton statements chockablock with sarcasm and hatred for no other reason other than spite. It's just str8-up shameful. Speaking of which, I apologize here and now for calling Miss Malkin a hypocrite just because her views run counter to my own. I guess I was just calling the black kettle white or however that uhhh metaphor goes lol -- I'm stupid!
Busted Ego
I was really excited this week because I managed to deadlift a whopping 300 pounds with straps. Curious though as to who else might be at my strength level -- the assumption being that they would be burly men with huge muscles -- I logged into youtube and searched for '300 pound deadlift.' Lo and Behold... I discovered video after video of scrawny teenagers 14-16 years of age deadlifting 300+ WITHOUT STRAPS. Ain't that a bitch? Do you realize what this means? Little kids can probably beat me up! I can't even imagine what a guy my age could do to me. In accordance with this new discovery, I've ordered a bottle of mace for protection!
Deployment to Afghanistan
I support the deployment because I do not want all our efforts in the Middle East to have been in vain. In fact, I feel we should even work toward eventually going into and stabilizing Pakistan as well. So long as these nations remain unstable, we are at high risk. We did a great job with Iraq, which now houses a democratic government, functioning schools, and fairly happy citizens. If we can manage this with Afghanistan and Pakistan, it would fundamentally change the way the Middle East functions. HOWEVER, we need to also back up the deployment with huge heaps of dough, lest our troops end up insufficiently equipped to handle the mental and physical strains that lie before them: How One Army Town Copes With Post-Traumatic Stress.
Angels and Demons
I quite enjoyed watching this film last weekend. I fail to see why the Catholic Church is so against it, as the film in no way, shape, or form lends a negativity connotation toward religion. If anything, it finds a comfortable medium between religion and science. When speaking of religion and science at the end of the film, Camerlengo Strauss says, "The world is in need of both." INDEED.
Amanda Knox
I don't know if she really is guilty or not, but I still feel sorry for her nonetheless. She's really cute by the way.
Bill Maher
Bill Maher is a bloody genius. I disagree with him on the Afghanistan initiative, but it matters naught due to his spectacular performance on Leno's Green Car Challenge. He ran over some bullllllshit a few times over, and handled it quite well (wink wink). Unfortunately, his overall time was even worse than Limbaugh's... eh, all is well that ends well.
Jimmy Fallon
I'm starting to give Jimmy a chance. Although he's still young at the art of late-night hosting, his show is pretty spunky and fun. I mainly like all the ridiculous stunts they pull. Most of the time though, I choose to watch reruns of Star Trek TNG on WGN instead because I'm a worthless-ass nerdddddd!
William Shatner on Conan
He scares me!
Anyway. Sorry for advertising so much last week, but the more money my bosses make, the more money I make. I'm a corporate sellout.
pEaCe and God is GOOD!
PS - I almost DIED this week. I tried to squat 235 and couldn't bring the weight back up, and ended up stuck in a very awkward and uncomfortable position. I was able to roll the barbell off me. Thankfully, it crashed onto the floor without the weights breaking. My legs are really weak, but a lot stronger than they used to be. Back in September, I could barely do 135. Now I start with 15 reps of 135 and usually end up with 3 to 4 reps of 205. TREE TRUNK LEGS, BAY-BEE!
Role Models
I consider Master P a role model; let me tell you why. Master P -- better known now as Mr. Percy Miller -- appeared on the Mo'Nique show earlier this week dressed in a nice suit. I was really impressed by the changes he's made; he's rid himself of the childish grill, taught himself to speak articulately, and educated himself about 'generational wealth.' You may still wonder though why somebody like Bill Gates isn't my idol instead. What the heck do I have in common with Mr. Gates? The guy is a BRILLIANT GENIUS. Mr. Miller, on the other hand, is an average-intelligent Joe who gradually rose up through the ranks. After acquiring fame and fortune, he spent years enjoying his youth, while also raising his wonderful son Romeo. Now that he's reached middle age (40), Mr. Miller has finally grown up all the way into an intelligent adult dedicated to bettering his community. He is in essence what I want to be one day: a great father, a successful artist/business-man, and a positive influence.
Growing Up
If I suddenly came upon $1,000,000+, this is how I would dedicate my money:
25% Investments
25% Savings
25% Equity (A Townhouse)
10% Family
5% Bills/Rent/Maintenance
5% Friends
4.5% Clothes/Jewelry/Car
.5% PARTTTYYYYY!
Why 4.5% for clothes and .5% for partying? I'm still very young and truthfully, I want to have fun. I dream of wearing fly clothes, sporting a nappy grill, and riding around town in a fancy car stocked with a batch of fine Ladies. I had a pretty crappy highschool experience and would really appreciate the opportunity to partake in the fun that many of my peers enjoyed during their youth. I guess I'm immature, but I honestly am in no hurry to grow up. The point that I'm trying to make is that we all grow up at our own pace. I hate being asked, "When are you going to grow up?" Kiss my butt and let me live!
Reverend Al Sharpton
Although Mr. Sharpton is quite controversial, I nonetheless think very highly of him. 'Pa Pah' -- as Mo'Nique refers to him -- made an appearance on the Mo'Nique show earlier this week, and has made quite a few appearances on the Michael Baisden show as well. I've always liked him, despite how the media tries to portray him. He presents himself humbly, but with intent and passion. I realize that some of his viewpoints are a little tough to swallow, and that he sometimes comes off as a racist; but I truly believe he is just a humble man who may perhaps be a little too wrapped up in the past -- as in the horrific actions perpetrated against black people in the PAST. I'm trying to be very PC here (so as to not offend either side), while still defending my love and respect for this great man. I also realize that I'm opening myself up to some extreme criticism, and I understand that. The bottom line is that he cares very much about the black community -- no different than an American Indian fighting for reservation rights; a homosexual pleading for gay marriage; or an Indian trying to bring Bollywood culture to America. Sometimes the Reverend is right and at other times he is straight-up wrong. No matter though because at the end of the day, he is still a good man -- at least in my eyes he is.
Gay People
Speaking of homosexuals, I am getting a little frustrated with all the anti-gay sentiment running rampant on the Internet. Ever since the Adam Lambert fiasco -- which even brought forth the attention of La Hipócrita de Numero Uno Michelle Malkin -- the anti-gay community has been proclaiming their disgust at being forced to behold the 'homosexual agenda'. Homosexuals are forced to watch us straight folk kiss, make out, and do God knows what else every single damn day on television and elsewhere. I'm so fed up with all the bloody hypocrisy, as well as the non-stop WHINING. "They're ruining our country!" "They're messing with our children's minds!" "They are corrupting society!" It's ignorance, intolerance, and apathy that is corroding society. Every other which way, another 'hater' can be found bunched up in a corner, hurling wanton statements chockablock with sarcasm and hatred for no other reason other than spite. It's just str8-up shameful. Speaking of which, I apologize here and now for calling Miss Malkin a hypocrite just because her views run counter to my own. I guess I was just calling the black kettle white or however that uhhh metaphor goes lol -- I'm stupid!
Busted Ego
I was really excited this week because I managed to deadlift a whopping 300 pounds with straps. Curious though as to who else might be at my strength level -- the assumption being that they would be burly men with huge muscles -- I logged into youtube and searched for '300 pound deadlift.' Lo and Behold... I discovered video after video of scrawny teenagers 14-16 years of age deadlifting 300+ WITHOUT STRAPS. Ain't that a bitch? Do you realize what this means? Little kids can probably beat me up! I can't even imagine what a guy my age could do to me. In accordance with this new discovery, I've ordered a bottle of mace for protection!
Deployment to Afghanistan
I support the deployment because I do not want all our efforts in the Middle East to have been in vain. In fact, I feel we should even work toward eventually going into and stabilizing Pakistan as well. So long as these nations remain unstable, we are at high risk. We did a great job with Iraq, which now houses a democratic government, functioning schools, and fairly happy citizens. If we can manage this with Afghanistan and Pakistan, it would fundamentally change the way the Middle East functions. HOWEVER, we need to also back up the deployment with huge heaps of dough, lest our troops end up insufficiently equipped to handle the mental and physical strains that lie before them: How One Army Town Copes With Post-Traumatic Stress.
Angels and Demons
I quite enjoyed watching this film last weekend. I fail to see why the Catholic Church is so against it, as the film in no way, shape, or form lends a negativity connotation toward religion. If anything, it finds a comfortable medium between religion and science. When speaking of religion and science at the end of the film, Camerlengo Strauss says, "The world is in need of both." INDEED.
Amanda Knox
I don't know if she really is guilty or not, but I still feel sorry for her nonetheless. She's really cute by the way.
Bill Maher
Bill Maher is a bloody genius. I disagree with him on the Afghanistan initiative, but it matters naught due to his spectacular performance on Leno's Green Car Challenge. He ran over some bullllllshit a few times over, and handled it quite well (wink wink). Unfortunately, his overall time was even worse than Limbaugh's... eh, all is well that ends well.
Jimmy Fallon
I'm starting to give Jimmy a chance. Although he's still young at the art of late-night hosting, his show is pretty spunky and fun. I mainly like all the ridiculous stunts they pull. Most of the time though, I choose to watch reruns of Star Trek TNG on WGN instead because I'm a worthless-ass nerdddddd!
William Shatner on Conan
He scares me!
Anyway. Sorry for advertising so much last week, but the more money my bosses make, the more money I make. I'm a corporate sellout.
pEaCe and God is GOOD!
PS - I almost DIED this week. I tried to squat 235 and couldn't bring the weight back up, and ended up stuck in a very awkward and uncomfortable position. I was able to roll the barbell off me. Thankfully, it crashed onto the floor without the weights breaking. My legs are really weak, but a lot stronger than they used to be. Back in September, I could barely do 135. Now I start with 15 reps of 135 and usually end up with 3 to 4 reps of 205. TREE TRUNK LEGS, BAY-BEE!
Friday, November 27, 2009
Friday, November 27th
I want to take time today to give thanks. Keep in mind that the numbers are arbitrary and therefore do not denote greater or lesser value. They're simply there to help me keep track of my cluttered thoughts. This post is also somewhat adult-oriented and quite blasphemous because frankly, I feel like being a little naughty tonight.
Heartfelt Thank You(s)
#1. Thank You to all the men and women in the military that strive everyday to uphold the principles that define our country. Without your efforts, America would probably be taken over, after which I would likely be adorned with a wig and panties, forced to wear makeup, and then designated as a virgin for some closeted Jihadist Imam named Yuliqa M’Diq. Seriously though, the appreciation and love that we as citizens have for your bravery and courage is unconditional. You put aside your family & kids and risk your life to protect the liberties we hold dear. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and GOD BLESS YOU!
#2. Thank You to all the men and women who volunteered this week to help prepare meals for the homeless and hungry. Without your services, many people would have been unable to take part in the wonderful tradition of Thanksgiving. It is people like you who give me hope that one day there truly will be world peace and happiness. By the same token, Thank You to all the Mothers and Fathers struggling in poverty, working hard everyday like James and Florida Evans to give their children nothing but the best. And that's coming straight from the mouth of Kid DynoMITE!
#3. Thank You to my family for always being there for me. An extra thank you to my Mom for showing me that no matter what job you have, you should always work hard and be proud. My Mom is the best food-service worker in America, bar none! And unlike the Indian food at most Indian restaurants (NO OFFENSE!), my Mom's cooking not only looks good and smells great, but it's actually edible and won't give you diarrhea.
#4. Thank You to PW for giving me a great job that has taught me an incredible amount about gadgets and technology, as well as kept my pockets full enough to maintain a decent living. Speaking of which, feel free to check out ProductWiki. The way it works is that people like me write basic-level reports on products, after-which a specialist then comes through and defines the pros/cons for that specific item. Our goal is to one day cover every single consumer and business product on the market. Instead of having to sort through ‘jargonesque’ company marketing, you can instead read a succinct and to-the-point report that streamlines all the data into an easy-to-read format.
#5. Thank You to my body for giving me direct access to my brain. Prior to 2008, my brain laid dormant as I slowly corrupted it with endless streams of drugs and alcohol. It's amazing what putting down the pipe, getting up, and dedicating yourself to hard work can do for you. I still drink and engage in other heathenish activities, but at least I moderate it!
Half-Ass Thank You(s)
#1. Thank You to Howie Mandel for revealing his OCD story on 20/20. It came as a complete shock to me; I thought he was just kidding around. I myself used to suffer from extreme OCD before I was prescribed medication, after-which it declined rapidly. As severe as his OCD is though, I wonder how he manages to have sex with his wife. It must be an unusually awkward experience: "NO! Don't touch me there! Don't touch me THERE either! Oh... you want me to touch you? Sorry, but I can't touch THAT. What if I give it a real hard fist bump instead?" Sorry, but that's funny to me. I got nothing but love for Mr. Mandel though. The best of luck to you, Sir!
#2. Thank You to everybody who visited WeirdAsiaNews. We went from approximately 9K to 36K overnight. I appreciate it tremendously. I did learn a lesson in the process though: DON'T COMMENT ON YOUR OWN WORK! It looks unprofessional, especially if you are commenting while drunk. Best bet is to write it, let it be published, and then watch it from afar. Even more surprising though was to discover that a large portion of my audience came from California. Hmm… Anyway. I have a boring piece dropping on Sunday, a funny piece on Monday, and more soon to come. Remember, the feed is kind of slow. We only publish 1 or 2 pieces a day, but have close to 10 writers on board. Gotta share the glory, mayne!
#3. Thank You to Crystal Palace for hiring and then firing me in 2007 (has it been that long?) I had an opportunity to work with a batch of wonderful people from all across the globe. Unfortunately, I was just not cut out for the job and was eventually terminated -- partially as a result of my stank attitude. The truth is that I cannot stand doing the same thing over and over and over and over again. Without creativity, I become very bored, then irritated, and eventually straight-up peeved. I do nonetheless appreciate the great opportunity, as well as the great people. As a great man once said, "Man with one chopstick go hungry." That has NOTHING to do with what I just said, but it just felt right.
#4. Thank You to the Korean Steakhouse and Laku Japanese restaurant for hiring and then firing me in 2008. It was an honor to learn about Korean/Japanese food and traditions, especially Bolgogi -- a Korean dish consisting of a savory slab of marinated beef. I learned then and there though that my dumbass is not suited to be a waiter. It's quite hard to please a customer when your nervous ticks have you repeatedly murmuring insulting epithets such as "you cheap bastard" right underneath their nose. Quite frustrating, but reminiscent of the House episode, "The Social Contract."
#5. Thank You to life in general for food, shelter, decent looks, still functional genitals, somewhat big muscles, and the strength to deal with autism. I am in fact reminded of the autistic child who recently spent 11 days riding the subway. He reminds me a little bit of myself, save that I was a lot cuter. Mind you, I lacked his fashion sense. In fact, I didn't even discover deodorant until the 7th grade, at which point I would spray myself with ridiculous amounts of liquid deodorant until I ended up smelling horrible. The thing about us high-functioning autistic folk is that we are somewhat slow in learning new things. For instance, I didn't discover the great benefits to incorporating fiber into one's diet until my mid 20s. Suffice it to say, the period of time between when I moved out of my parent's place to when I discovered fiber was quite shitty, if you catch my drift!
Just Plain Ridiculous Thank You(s)
#1. Thank You to Louis Griffin for being so damn attractive. I just recently discovered Family Guy during an extremely bored Saturday. Previously, I ignored and scorned the show because I felt it too juvenile; boy, was I wrong! The irony is that not only is she a fictional character, but she's played by an overly well-fed woman. I just hope that this whole incident doesn't inspire me to start watching anime porn. That would just be a damn shame...
#2. Thank You to Pee-Wee Herman for returning to entertain us once again. One small step forward for Paul Reuban; one giant leap backwards for mankind. J/K. I have nothing but respect for Mr. Reuban, although I do suggest that the next time he beats off, he may perhaps want to consider doing it in private. All he needs in an Ethernet-connected computer, a Christmas stocking (don't ask), a flashlight (DON'T ASK!) and maybe a bowling bowl (PLEASE DON'T ASK!!!). And oh yeah, I forgot a ROPE (need something to tie the bowling ball with............)
#3. Thank You to Wanda Sykes for her late night television show on Fox. It begs the question though: Who is the bigger sellout. Is it Wanda for choosing a conservative network to perform her liberally slanted comedic sketches (which I love by the way!); or is it Fox for allowing a bitchy ultra-liberal lesbian (aka a B.U.L.L.) to spew her liberal propaganda on their network?
#4. Thank You to Norm McDonald for proving that even a totally weird asshole who interrupts other people’s interviews on the Tonight Show can still be funny. By the way, is it just me or is there a chance this guy might be a tad bit autistic? He acts very nervous, holds onto his hands, and looks at the floor a lot. He's like my twin Caucasian brother.
#5. And finally... Thank You to Jay Leno for broadcasting on Thanksgiving. Without him, I would have been bored to tears during my evening workout. The dedication he has towards his job is truly remarkable. With all the money that he has, I would have long ago quit, divorced my wife, and wasted the rest of my days hanging out at a strip club in my pajamas like these young gangsters:
I bet you thought I was going to post a picture of a cat. Got yah!
Aight. I’m dead exhausted from a long week of work and working out. Adios and GOD IS LOVE, although truthfully… I would really prefer the love of a massage parlor masseuse right about now. Eh… oh well.
Heartfelt Thank You(s)
#1. Thank You to all the men and women in the military that strive everyday to uphold the principles that define our country. Without your efforts, America would probably be taken over, after which I would likely be adorned with a wig and panties, forced to wear makeup, and then designated as a virgin for some closeted Jihadist Imam named Yuliqa M’Diq. Seriously though, the appreciation and love that we as citizens have for your bravery and courage is unconditional. You put aside your family & kids and risk your life to protect the liberties we hold dear. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and GOD BLESS YOU!
#2. Thank You to all the men and women who volunteered this week to help prepare meals for the homeless and hungry. Without your services, many people would have been unable to take part in the wonderful tradition of Thanksgiving. It is people like you who give me hope that one day there truly will be world peace and happiness. By the same token, Thank You to all the Mothers and Fathers struggling in poverty, working hard everyday like James and Florida Evans to give their children nothing but the best. And that's coming straight from the mouth of Kid DynoMITE!
#3. Thank You to my family for always being there for me. An extra thank you to my Mom for showing me that no matter what job you have, you should always work hard and be proud. My Mom is the best food-service worker in America, bar none! And unlike the Indian food at most Indian restaurants (NO OFFENSE!), my Mom's cooking not only looks good and smells great, but it's actually edible and won't give you diarrhea.
#4. Thank You to PW for giving me a great job that has taught me an incredible amount about gadgets and technology, as well as kept my pockets full enough to maintain a decent living. Speaking of which, feel free to check out ProductWiki. The way it works is that people like me write basic-level reports on products, after-which a specialist then comes through and defines the pros/cons for that specific item. Our goal is to one day cover every single consumer and business product on the market. Instead of having to sort through ‘jargonesque’ company marketing, you can instead read a succinct and to-the-point report that streamlines all the data into an easy-to-read format.
#5. Thank You to my body for giving me direct access to my brain. Prior to 2008, my brain laid dormant as I slowly corrupted it with endless streams of drugs and alcohol. It's amazing what putting down the pipe, getting up, and dedicating yourself to hard work can do for you. I still drink and engage in other heathenish activities, but at least I moderate it!
Half-Ass Thank You(s)
#1. Thank You to Howie Mandel for revealing his OCD story on 20/20. It came as a complete shock to me; I thought he was just kidding around. I myself used to suffer from extreme OCD before I was prescribed medication, after-which it declined rapidly. As severe as his OCD is though, I wonder how he manages to have sex with his wife. It must be an unusually awkward experience: "NO! Don't touch me there! Don't touch me THERE either! Oh... you want me to touch you? Sorry, but I can't touch THAT. What if I give it a real hard fist bump instead?" Sorry, but that's funny to me. I got nothing but love for Mr. Mandel though. The best of luck to you, Sir!
#2. Thank You to everybody who visited WeirdAsiaNews. We went from approximately 9K to 36K overnight. I appreciate it tremendously. I did learn a lesson in the process though: DON'T COMMENT ON YOUR OWN WORK! It looks unprofessional, especially if you are commenting while drunk. Best bet is to write it, let it be published, and then watch it from afar. Even more surprising though was to discover that a large portion of my audience came from California. Hmm… Anyway. I have a boring piece dropping on Sunday, a funny piece on Monday, and more soon to come. Remember, the feed is kind of slow. We only publish 1 or 2 pieces a day, but have close to 10 writers on board. Gotta share the glory, mayne!
#3. Thank You to Crystal Palace for hiring and then firing me in 2007 (has it been that long?) I had an opportunity to work with a batch of wonderful people from all across the globe. Unfortunately, I was just not cut out for the job and was eventually terminated -- partially as a result of my stank attitude. The truth is that I cannot stand doing the same thing over and over and over and over again. Without creativity, I become very bored, then irritated, and eventually straight-up peeved. I do nonetheless appreciate the great opportunity, as well as the great people. As a great man once said, "Man with one chopstick go hungry." That has NOTHING to do with what I just said, but it just felt right.
#4. Thank You to the Korean Steakhouse and Laku Japanese restaurant for hiring and then firing me in 2008. It was an honor to learn about Korean/Japanese food and traditions, especially Bolgogi -- a Korean dish consisting of a savory slab of marinated beef. I learned then and there though that my dumbass is not suited to be a waiter. It's quite hard to please a customer when your nervous ticks have you repeatedly murmuring insulting epithets such as "you cheap bastard" right underneath their nose. Quite frustrating, but reminiscent of the House episode, "The Social Contract."
#5. Thank You to life in general for food, shelter, decent looks, still functional genitals, somewhat big muscles, and the strength to deal with autism. I am in fact reminded of the autistic child who recently spent 11 days riding the subway. He reminds me a little bit of myself, save that I was a lot cuter. Mind you, I lacked his fashion sense. In fact, I didn't even discover deodorant until the 7th grade, at which point I would spray myself with ridiculous amounts of liquid deodorant until I ended up smelling horrible. The thing about us high-functioning autistic folk is that we are somewhat slow in learning new things. For instance, I didn't discover the great benefits to incorporating fiber into one's diet until my mid 20s. Suffice it to say, the period of time between when I moved out of my parent's place to when I discovered fiber was quite shitty, if you catch my drift!
Just Plain Ridiculous Thank You(s)
#1. Thank You to Louis Griffin for being so damn attractive. I just recently discovered Family Guy during an extremely bored Saturday. Previously, I ignored and scorned the show because I felt it too juvenile; boy, was I wrong! The irony is that not only is she a fictional character, but she's played by an overly well-fed woman. I just hope that this whole incident doesn't inspire me to start watching anime porn. That would just be a damn shame...
#2. Thank You to Pee-Wee Herman for returning to entertain us once again. One small step forward for Paul Reuban; one giant leap backwards for mankind. J/K. I have nothing but respect for Mr. Reuban, although I do suggest that the next time he beats off, he may perhaps want to consider doing it in private. All he needs in an Ethernet-connected computer, a Christmas stocking (don't ask), a flashlight (DON'T ASK!) and maybe a bowling bowl (PLEASE DON'T ASK!!!). And oh yeah, I forgot a ROPE (need something to tie the bowling ball with............)
#3. Thank You to Wanda Sykes for her late night television show on Fox. It begs the question though: Who is the bigger sellout. Is it Wanda for choosing a conservative network to perform her liberally slanted comedic sketches (which I love by the way!); or is it Fox for allowing a bitchy ultra-liberal lesbian (aka a B.U.L.L.) to spew her liberal propaganda on their network?
#4. Thank You to Norm McDonald for proving that even a totally weird asshole who interrupts other people’s interviews on the Tonight Show can still be funny. By the way, is it just me or is there a chance this guy might be a tad bit autistic? He acts very nervous, holds onto his hands, and looks at the floor a lot. He's like my twin Caucasian brother.
#5. And finally... Thank You to Jay Leno for broadcasting on Thanksgiving. Without him, I would have been bored to tears during my evening workout. The dedication he has towards his job is truly remarkable. With all the money that he has, I would have long ago quit, divorced my wife, and wasted the rest of my days hanging out at a strip club in my pajamas like these young gangsters:
I bet you thought I was going to post a picture of a cat. Got yah!
Aight. I’m dead exhausted from a long week of work and working out. Adios and GOD IS LOVE, although truthfully… I would really prefer the love of a massage parlor masseuse right about now. Eh… oh well.
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