Friday, December 4th

I'm sorry about my post last week. I chose to be a funny little ass instead of just being myself. I forgot the reason why I began writing on craigslist in the first place: to relieve pent-up emotions and frustration. I'm going back to my roots this week! I'm not a comedian; I'm a writer, although I do get off on making the occasional really good joke. This post is a bit controversial though and so I apologize in advance. I have a lot on my mind and need to just let it loose.

Role Models
I consider Master P a role model; let me tell you why. Master P -- better known now as Mr. Percy Miller -- appeared on the Mo'Nique show earlier this week dressed in a nice suit. I was really impressed by the changes he's made; he's rid himself of the childish grill, taught himself to speak articulately, and educated himself about 'generational wealth.' You may still wonder though why somebody like Bill Gates isn't my idol instead. What the heck do I have in common with Mr. Gates? The guy is a BRILLIANT GENIUS. Mr. Miller, on the other hand, is an average-intelligent Joe who gradually rose up through the ranks. After acquiring fame and fortune, he spent years enjoying his youth, while also raising his wonderful son Romeo. Now that he's reached middle age (40), Mr. Miller has finally grown up all the way into an intelligent adult dedicated to bettering his community. He is in essence what I want to be one day: a great father, a successful artist/business-man, and a positive influence.

Growing Up
If I suddenly came upon $1,000,000+, this is how I would dedicate my money:

25% Investments
25% Savings
25% Equity (A Townhouse)
10% Family
5% Bills/Rent/Maintenance
5% Friends
4.5% Clothes/Jewelry/Car
.5% PARTTTYYYYY!

Why 4.5% for clothes and .5% for partying? I'm still very young and truthfully, I want to have fun. I dream of wearing fly clothes, sporting a nappy grill, and riding around town in a fancy car stocked with a batch of fine Ladies. I had a pretty crappy highschool experience and would really appreciate the opportunity to partake in the fun that many of my peers enjoyed during their youth. I guess I'm immature, but I honestly am in no hurry to grow up. The point that I'm trying to make is that we all grow up at our own pace. I hate being asked, "When are you going to grow up?" Kiss my butt and let me live!

Reverend Al Sharpton
Although Mr. Sharpton is quite controversial, I nonetheless think very highly of him. 'Pa Pah' -- as Mo'Nique refers to him -- made an appearance on the Mo'Nique show earlier this week, and has made quite a few appearances on the Michael Baisden show as well. I've always liked him, despite how the media tries to portray him. He presents himself humbly, but with intent and passion. I realize that some of his viewpoints are a little tough to swallow, and that he sometimes comes off as a racist; but I truly believe he is just a humble man who may perhaps be a little too wrapped up in the past -- as in the horrific actions perpetrated against black people in the PAST. I'm trying to be very PC here (so as to not offend either side), while still defending my love and respect for this great man. I also realize that I'm opening myself up to some extreme criticism, and I understand that. The bottom line is that he cares very much about the black community -- no different than an American Indian fighting for reservation rights; a homosexual pleading for gay marriage; or an Indian trying to bring Bollywood culture to America. Sometimes the Reverend is right and at other times he is straight-up wrong. No matter though because at the end of the day, he is still a good man -- at least in my eyes he is.

Gay People
Speaking of homosexuals, I am getting a little frustrated with all the anti-gay sentiment running rampant on the Internet. Ever since the Adam Lambert fiasco -- which even brought forth the attention of La Hipócrita de Numero Uno Michelle Malkin -- the anti-gay community has been proclaiming their disgust at being forced to behold the 'homosexual agenda'. Homosexuals are forced to watch us straight folk kiss, make out, and do God knows what else every single damn day on television and elsewhere. I'm so fed up with all the bloody hypocrisy, as well as the non-stop WHINING. "They're ruining our country!" "They're messing with our children's minds!" "They are corrupting society!" It's ignorance, intolerance, and apathy that is corroding society. Every other which way, another 'hater' can be found bunched up in a corner, hurling wanton statements chockablock with sarcasm and hatred for no other reason other than spite. It's just str8-up shameful. Speaking of which, I apologize here and now for calling Miss Malkin a hypocrite just because her views run counter to my own. I guess I was just calling the black kettle white or however that uhhh metaphor goes lol -- I'm stupid!

Busted Ego
I was really excited this week because I managed to deadlift a whopping 300 pounds with straps. Curious though as to who else might be at my strength level -- the assumption being that they would be burly men with huge muscles -- I logged into youtube and searched for '300 pound deadlift.' Lo and Behold... I discovered video after video of scrawny teenagers 14-16 years of age deadlifting 300+ WITHOUT STRAPS. Ain't that a bitch? Do you realize what this means? Little kids can probably beat me up! I can't even imagine what a guy my age could do to me. In accordance with this new discovery, I've ordered a bottle of mace for protection!

Deployment to Afghanistan
I support the deployment because I do not want all our efforts in the Middle East to have been in vain. In fact, I feel we should even work toward eventually going into and stabilizing Pakistan as well. So long as these nations remain unstable, we are at high risk. We did a great job with Iraq, which now houses a democratic government, functioning schools, and fairly happy citizens. If we can manage this with Afghanistan and Pakistan, it would fundamentally change the way the Middle East functions. HOWEVER, we need to also back up the deployment with huge heaps of dough, lest our troops end up insufficiently equipped to handle the mental and physical strains that lie before them: How One Army Town Copes With Post-Traumatic Stress.

Angels and Demons
I quite enjoyed watching this film last weekend. I fail to see why the Catholic Church is so against it, as the film in no way, shape, or form lends a negativity connotation toward religion. If anything, it finds a comfortable medium between religion and science. When speaking of religion and science at the end of the film, Camerlengo Strauss says, "The world is in need of both." INDEED.

Amanda Knox
I don't know if she really is guilty or not, but I still feel sorry for her nonetheless. She's really cute by the way.

Bill Maher
Bill Maher is a bloody genius. I disagree with him on the Afghanistan initiative, but it matters naught due to his spectacular performance on Leno's Green Car Challenge. He ran over some bullllllshit a few times over, and handled it quite well (wink wink). Unfortunately, his overall time was even worse than Limbaugh's... eh, all is well that ends well.

Jimmy Fallon
I'm starting to give Jimmy a chance. Although he's still young at the art of late-night hosting, his show is pretty spunky and fun. I mainly like all the ridiculous stunts they pull. Most of the time though, I choose to watch reruns of Star Trek TNG on WGN instead because I'm a worthless-ass nerdddddd!

William Shatner on Conan
He scares me!

Anyway. Sorry for advertising so much last week, but the more money my bosses make, the more money I make. I'm a corporate sellout.

pEaCe and God is GOOD!

PS - I almost DIED this week. I tried to squat 235 and couldn't bring the weight back up, and ended up stuck in a very awkward and uncomfortable position. I was able to roll the barbell off me. Thankfully, it crashed onto the floor without the weights breaking. My legs are really weak, but a lot stronger than they used to be. Back in September, I could barely do 135. Now I start with 15 reps of 135 and usually end up with 3 to 4 reps of 205. TREE TRUNK LEGS, BAY-BEE!