Honestly, this has been a long and stressful week, and I just don’t have anything too important to say. I’m hoping drinking lots of beer will help alleviate all the stress and reawaken my creativity. Worst-case scenario, maybe Jon Stewart’s return next week will help re-stimulate my humor boner!
So I'm sorry if I disappoint, but I just am NOT feeling it this week AT ALL. A BUNCH of brilliant ideas came to me last night as I was falling asleep, but they evaporated like water into air. Sighs. I wish I had memory chips in my brain so that when those moments occur, I can store all the thoughts for later analysis. FYI - I would have NO PROBLEM with becoming a cyborg!
Anyway.
This has been a very metableakicist (courtesy of the Colbert Nation Word Generator) week, especially in regard to the situation that transpired in regard to Miss Sherry Sherrod. I’m just glad the whole situation resolved itself.
Roland Martin
I’m also glad as all hell that I’m not Roland Martin! I watched in glee as he stumbled about like a handicapped man on his facebook page this week. He spent the first half of the week defending his stance, while he spent the second half apologizing for it. It’s funny to me because I realize how lucky I am that I’m not famous and successful.
Truth be told, unlike Mr. Martin, I’m not held accountable for what I say! The reason is because you don’t know who I am. You might think you do, but you can’t prove it! This means I can say whatever I want, like NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA! Can you imagine if Roland said that? Now let’s put that a sentence: That NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA stole my bike! (Anyone see the PrimeTime bit tonight about car vandalism by youths?)
If I were as famous as Roland Martin, Al Sharpton would be at my door with Don King by his side coaxing him, saying, “Get him, Al!” And as a lightweight Asian man with no fighting skills whatsoever, big ol’ Al is a man that I certainly do not want to fight! I guess my point is that though my writing brings about no benefits—like fame, success and fans—at least I can say what I want, when I want, without having to worry about being rebuked or beat up by the Rev.
I do nevertheless apologize for using the N word like that, but I’m quite fond of it! And daps to Roland for making it through this week. It was rough, but he managed to get through it and even put out a superb column—though in all honesty it pales in comparison to what Keith Olbermann said!!! Regardless, that’s my BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Questions/Answers
Since I don’t have anything else to say, I’m going to run down the best comments I made this week in a question/answer format.
How can the Republicans attract minorities?
In accordance with Feel Good Friday—a day that demands we release our stress and embrace happiness—I say the Republicans should throw a national COOKOUT! I said it, I said as heck did! Seeing uptight Republicans chowin' down on a wing as BBQ sauce drips down their chins would at the very least cast them in a human light. You know, sometimes it takes the simplest thing to bring people together. If the Republicans stopped talking so much shit and instead just let their guard down and showed some humanity, we Liberals might not hate them as much as we do! (I admit it... I'm a CRH -- Conservative Republican Hater -- and I will be attending meetings for it starting next week!)
Wouldn’t allowing the mosque to be built be a slap in the face to all those who lost their lives?
Not allowing this mosque to be built would be a slap in the face to all who lost their lives, because it would mean that they lost their lives in vain—as the terrorists would have won by taking away our spirit of freedom and liberty for all. And don't you dare compare us to another country. We are one of a kind… a nation where everyone has equal rights. Trying to compare America to a Middle Eastern nation is like comparing apples to oranges. If you want to play that game, then go ahead and burn the flag, because you have clearly already either given up on or just choose to ignore the very tenets of our country!
Do you keep nude pictures of your ex GIRL-friend?
To be honest, I have like 20 half-nude pics of my one and only X. I show them off to every girl I meet to prove two things:
#1. I'm not gay.
#2. I'm not a virgin.
What’s the difference between hiphop and rap?
Hiphop is the overall culture, which encompasses everything from Tupac to Rick Ross to Soulja Boy. Rap is the actual art form of precise lyrical delivery, which includes only a few notables like Common, Pac, Biggie and some others.
Regardless, it’s all hiphop. You may or may not like a certain sub-set of the hiphop genre, but hiphop is hiphop. So either quit intellectualizing and start shaking your ass & dreads, or just go listen to something you do fancy. Either way, just STFU and dance, bitch!
Why do older women think they still look like they did when they were young?
Indeed! It’s the very definition of delusion! “I’m 70 and I look like I’m 17!” No… you’re 70 and look like you’re 7, in that most of your dayum teeth ain’t in!
Is Mel Gibson racist?
I don't believe Mel is a racist. I think he just has anger issues, because when I get mad, I'll say some smack too. I'll talk about your mother, your grandmother, your dead great-grandmother, your aunt who has cancer, your mentally challenged son AND your diabetic dog, not to mention your daughter who happens to be dating a BLACK GUY (like what’s up with that, bro?!).
Finally, what type of women do you date and what type of women don’t you date?
I don't date women from Condom, France. I only date women from Morehead!
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That’s it. Just not feeling it this week!
PS – I still trade Forex, but the account is very low. I’ll never give up on it, but I do pay less attention to it nowadays.
PS #2 – I’m teaching myself the art of copywriting via a few GREAT books I got off Amazon. The key is to either get a better writing job OR start earning residual income on the side by selling Clickbank products.
PS #3 – I had a bunch of funny ideas/thoughts in my head last night, but I didn’t write them down and well, they evaporated like water! I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!
PS #4 – Talk about a 187 on Fox News!
AND NOOO I’m not going to hurt anyone. I was looking for a Chappelle gif of when he skeeted with that detergent bottle in the laundry mat (to go with the song title), but instead ran into this gif and thought it’d fit this portion of my post perfectly. I still wish I would have been able to find that skeet animation, though! Eh well!
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