Neurotypical Bitches

Are there any investors out there? I have a million-dollar idea for you, and all I ask is that you send me a fat paycheck if the idea ever proves to be successful.

In particular, I need someone to construct a high-quality dating site strictly for those individuals who suffer from Asperger Syndrome. The one and only site that caters to Aspies, www.aspieaffection.com, is fraught with problems—a ridiculously slow server, disgustingly pathetic graphics, piss-poor functionality and limited social connectivity, to name a few. Ideally, I would like to see an OkCupid- or PlentyOfFish-grade dating site that would allow Aspies the chance to find love among their own kind.

Where did this desire come from? Well, flag me if you would like, but my friend Saurabh and I are sick and tired of normal bitches. Yes, I said it. We are not friends per se, nor are we family, but we went to HS together, and we both suffer from Asperger Syndrome. And as he said so eloquently earlier today courtesy of Facebook, “neuro-typical” women are extremely annoying:

“
when I am feeling something for someone...
it is sincere... but I tend to be honest...
and come out with exactly how I'm feeling and when I am feeling it...
neurotypicals get scared off by that.
You have to kind of release it in spurts...
like an old hose... with many kinks in it.
Very very hard for me to do.

Neurotypicals bore me...
most of them anyhow...
they are so mechanistic.
You can't be sincere with them...
you have to... be painstakingly slow...
and overly cautious...
like walking on a bed of nails.
”

The irony is that these “neuro-typicals,” as he likes to call them, think we are the slow ones. Perhaps we are slow in regard to face-to-face conversation, but when it comes to expressing emotions of intimacy, we are the like Louis from “Revenge of the Nerds,” as is evident by the following paraphrased quote:

“Lewis: 'Cause all Jocks ever think about is sports [hanging out watching football, watching the latest episode of Community and hosting orgies at the ultra-ultra groovy Frat House, bro], all we ever think about is sex [expanding our mind with intellectual stimulation, exploring the delicate emotions that surface courtesy of life’s most simple pleasures and making sweet emotional, physical and spiritual love to the woman of our dreams].”

So there has to be at least one team of programmers and graphic designers in Raleigh with the ability to create such a website. I cannot guarantee any profit, especially if you have no skills in web marketing, but I know for a fact that there is potential in such an idea.

Anyway.

I’m up out.

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PS @ Programmers/Designers: Another idea is to create a Craigslist-like chat site with a chatroom for EVERY city in the United States of America.

PS @ Technicians: Need to learn how to use Android but can’t afford an Android phone? Download Android SDK.

And oh... I hope everybody who is able to make it to the Fair this weekend has a great time!