Black History Part #2
Many people have questioned my decision to celebrate Black History Month by promoting young rap artists. Since I began writing this blog, I’ve nearly always titled it with the name of songs typically listened to by the older generations. My goal now is to do the exact opposite by teaching the older generations a little about my generation. It seems so backwards, especially considering this is Black History Month, but that’s how my demented mind works.
This week I’m paying tribute to Lupe Fiasco, a 27-year-old black man who kicked and pushed his way into becoming a nationally acclaimed rap artist dedicated to 100% clean lyrics. He’s a self-proclaimed Muslim, a proud American, and a talented artist bent on revolutionizing the rap industry with lyrics that matter and also move the heart.
“So they Kick, Push Kick, Push Kick, Push Kick, Push Coast
And the way they roll just lovers in the twine with no place to go
So they Kick, Push Kick, Push Kick, Push Kick, Push Coast
So come and skate with me, just a rebel looking for a place to be
So let's Kick, (uh uh) and Push, (yea yea) and Coast”
I was tempted to tribute Gucci Man—whose music I crave like cigarettes—but his lyrics are too focused on gang violence and drug use. Therefore I felt that it would be inappropriate to represent him for the purpose of celebrating black history.
By the way, who invented the pullout sofa bed (courtesy of the effervescent Mo’Nique)?
The official story goes like this: “The pullout bed was invented by a blackman by the name of LC Bailey in the 1800's. The invention came about when he got a visit from in laws. At the time they had a 1 bedroom house and the visitors had to all sleep in the same bed. LC became fed up with this after a couple of days of being urinated on by his in-laws while asleep. This prompted LC to invent the sofa bed. The rest is history as they say....”
Is John Mayer a Racist?
This whole John Mayer situation makes me want to heave all over myself in utter disgust. I’m not angry with John, but rather at all the people, rappers included, who have the audacity to call him racist. True racism runs rampant throughout the country, yet rarely do these naysayers take notice. But when John Mayer errs in a poor attempt to be cute and funny, the world stops dead in its tracks. His comments were very inappropriate and poorly thought-out, but who among us hasn’t accidentally blurted something offensive? And more importantly, the man has humbly apologized. What else do you want?
I’m also irritated at rappers, who themselves continue to perpetuate negative black stereotypes with their incessant usage of the n word. Rapper Z-Ro, in his song ‘Respect my Mind,’ says, “Bitch I'll kill you niggaz. You better respect my mind - cause I'll kill you niggaz.” Excuse me, but what the flying fuck is that? Don’t get me wrong—I love hardcore gangster rap lyrics—but isn’t his use of the n word just as negative, if not more so, than the way in which John Mayer used it?
The question remains: What is true racism? Racism at its core is, in my opinion, an innate hatred towards a particular people simply because of their race. Does John Mayer hate black people? I think not. Does Z-Ro hate black people? Hell naw! So excuse my slang, but stop tripping!
Also, just using the n word doesn’t make somebody racist. I use the n word all the time. When I see my roomie’s dog, I say, “Wasup, my n-word.” When I talk to my imaginary friend, I ask, “How are you, my n-word.” And when I look at my vascular forearms after a rough workout, I exclaim, “I’m a fine ass n-word!” It’s inappropriate and stupid for me to say the n-word, but my usage of it does not make me racist; it just makes me an inconsiderate dumbass. FYI—I grew up being called a dirty, rat-eating sand n-word. Just so you know…
Look, it’s important to recognize and understand the past—especially racism and how it still impacts us—but it’s also important that we don’t become victims to it either. And that means learning to forgive stupid indiscretions and instead focus on the real issues.
"Forces in the world will tell you you're a victim of your family, your race, your past, your history. Don't believe them. They don't know you. Look inside and find your true self. It's there. Give it a name." - The Rza excerpted from The Tao of Wu.
By the way, my hood pass was recently revoked on the grounds that I'm becoming bougie, which is completely false. I’m just getting old; my balls are starting to sag, my hair is starting to thin, and my sperm need lifejackets to swim. I can’t help it, mayne.
Homophobia and Gay Discrimination
Whenever I discuss the issue of homosexuality, the same thing always occurs. Just to clarify, I did once participate in a gay porno flick. My stage name was Buck Nasty; look me up (rolls eyes). And oh, a very conspicuous gentleman whispered that he believes I'm a DL brother. I'm a homosexual-friendly straight man who supports the gay-rights movement, has no problem discussing homosexuality without using derogatory terms like 'fag' or 'queer' (homophobes are typically gay), loves to make gay-friendly jokes (look at my fine ass!), and openly admits to having gay friends. Yep… you've blown my cover, bruh. Woe to me (smashes head into a wall 10 times). BIG DUMMY!
Anyway. What I find exceedingly fascinating is the way in which others treat me when the issue of my alleged homosexuality pops up; they love to snicker and smile wryly in my presence. This leads to my next discussion topic: discrimination against homosexuals. Many people—some whom themselves have been victims of prejudice—feel no qualms with freely discussing “those nasty faggots” as if it’s all fine and dandy. Such an attitude is beyond despicable; it’s outright shameful. Heed the words of Martin Luther King, Jr.: "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”
To all the gay people who may read this, I offer you my condolences and promise you that not all straight people are so damn ignorant. You have every right to be who you are and be proud of it. At the end of the day, I got your back, hot sexy! And that goes for transsexuals too. Shake that groove thing!
Women’s Rights
This week on House, we were given the opportunity to see life through the eyes of Cuddy. She’s an extremely busy woman who suffers an incredible deal of abuse from her patients—as well as her staff members. At first, I was quite skeptical about this episode and even considered skipping it. But I’m so glad that I took the time to watch it because I learned something. I don’t give women enough credit for all the crap they endure. As a staunch AFMS (Anti Feminazi Man Soldier), I oftentimes discredit their claims of sexual discrimination, assuming it merely a pathetic attempt at playing the victim. How hypocritical of me, aye? Ladies… I’m sorry and I promise to be more sympathetic to your struggles from now on.
Amazing facts about India
My Pops sent me this awesome PowerPoint slideshow about India. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did.
The Power of the Internet
Some people believe that social networking is detrimental to society because it keeps us away from participating in ‘real life’. I disagree. As an individual with Asperger Syndrome and Social Anxiety Disorder, the Internet is my golden ticket to the world. It allows me to communicate with others and express myself in a way that just isn't possible in 'real life.' And truthfully, there is no given way in which you must enjoy life. Life is what you make it. Some people enjoy walking in the park, while others prefer engaging a lively online discussion. I do agree, however, that the Internet isn't everything. Exercise, family, volunteer work, and community participation all hold their merits as well. That’s why it’s important to build a good balance.
The Right to Bear Arms
I don’t particularly approve of people bearing arms, but I am more than willing to tolerate it so long as they seek training on how to use them correctly. A study on Dateline or 20/20 illustrated how many gun owners barely know how to handle their weapons. In a dramatic example, three test subjects were confined in a classroom and then told to defend themselves as a fake terrorist kicked his way in and starting shooting. The study proved that individuals without proper training are much more likely to miss and accidentally shoot an innocent bystander.
So if you want to own a gun, go hunting, or even take your kids hunting, all I ask is that all of you get the proper certifications. I have no problem with little Terry Jr. kicking ass in the wilderness, so long as he knows what he’s doing. Owning a gun is like knowing karate: you must use it with wisdom.
Blood Diamonds
Last week, I watched the 2006 thriller ‘Blood Diamonds’ and was blown away by its intense portrayal of the blood diamond wars that occurred and probably still occur throughout Africa. The movie was so intense that I had to utilize all 4 inches of my manhood to keep from breaking down in tears. If you haven’t already seen it, then RENT IT TONIGHT!
Celebrity Rehab with Doctor Drew
I love this show. I was in rehab for marijuana addiction—I used to steal my Mother's jewelry and sell it for dope money—when I was 18. The environment on the show is realistic to a tea; it's a true-to-life depiction of what rehabilitation is like for countless other Americans attempting to achieve sobriety. The show is also extremely fun, especially with all the drama caused by Queen Diva Kari Anne (who is so fine, but such a bitch). On a VH1 blog about Celebrity Rehab, a woman complained that the show is stupid and pointless because all it does is feed to the narcissism of drug addicts. Ugh… that’s such an insensitive thing to say. And that, in fact, is the lead in to my next topic.
Taking Pleasure in Other’s Misfortunes
Less than two years ago, I strolled the streets as a broke-down ‘trick’ bent on easing my pain with booze. Many people roared in glee at my misfortune; they basically felt that I was and will always be nothing but a loser. Well since then, I’ve obviously risen from the circumstances of my past. The irony is that some of the same people who took pleasure in my misfortune have since lost their businesses and fell into their own pits of turmoil. Do you see me taking a single bit of pleasure in their misfortune? It is, in my opinion, absolutely disgusting when one human takes pleasure in another human's misfortune. Don't get me wrong, though; we all do it! Every single time a loud-mouthed baby-mama on Maury finds out that the 'jerk' who wouldn't pay child support ISN'T ACTUALLY THE FATHER, I feel like getting naked and humping a stuffed animal like a dog. All I'm saying is.... don't ever lose touch with your humanity. It just seems like some people have become so embroiled with bitterness that they don't care about anyone or anything anymore. Please don't let that happen to you.
Jokes [PARENTAL ADVISORY]
#1.
A good friend of mine asked me to leave a funny comment for her facebook status. She asked, “Should men have to step up their game for Valentine’s Day?”
My reply was as follows:
Both men AND women need to step up their game on Valentine's day. If Darnell don't eat pussy, he better practice on a watermelon! And if Michelle don't suck dick, she better practice on a banana! Because on Valentine's day, it's about going that EXTRA MILE! I surely do not eat pussy, but for Valentine's day, I'll shove my mouth right into that den of eewy gooey chopsuey!
#2.
This static electricity has me losing my fragernackle mind. It's 91% humidity, and yet I'm still getting fried like a death row inmate on the electric chair. My friend recommended that I carry around a metal object. So I’m now holding onto this metal stapler. I’m going to carry it with me everywhere. I just hope that my drunk ass doesn’t accidentally staple my dick shut with it while in the baffwoom.
Alright. Before I go, I want to just say sorry to anyone whom I may have offended. It is not my intention to offend or hurt anyone; it's just that I really enjoy being both thoughtful and provocative in my writing. That’s just how I roll. And I realize that I'm very inconsistent. I'll say one thing, and then go and say the exact opposite. My mind moves at 30,000mph. I'm trying to slowly pull it all together with my slow ass, but it's going to take me a lot of time. I also realize that some of the topics I discuss are either meaningless or cliché. I do read the news (when I wake up, 10+++ times intraday, and before I go to bed), but I’m only passionate about certain issues. And I also realize that I’m being very defensive today :-D.
Have a nice weekend and please smile, laugh, and OH YEAH, if you’re lucky enough to have sex on Valentine’s Day, then no offense, but FUCK YOU!
PS – The dog story will be dropping soon.
PS #2 – Good Bye, NBC! After watching a few episodes of Jimmy Kimmel live, I’m now hooked for good. I’m sick and tired of all the bullshit at NBC. My prayers go out to Jay Leno, Kevin Eubanks (known as The Bald Eagle @ Chippendales), and the Tonight Show, which I honestly and sadly expect to see fail. I’m still rooting for you though, Jay!
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