"Make" Love Serenade (Barry White) | For A Special White Woman

*In the deep voice of Barry White*

Greetings, ladies and gentlemen.
Tonight, I want to send out a special message to a lady named Rachel Maddow.

Tell ‘em off,
Baby, tell ‘em Republicans off!
I wanna see you give them the bird,
I don’t wanna hear no crying (BOEHNER!),
I don’t wanna see no bullshit!
So tell ‘em why we up in here, my dear,
Every Democrat finnin’
I’m talking taking the tape off our mouths,
Because baby, you got us ready,
This day…
We’re gon’ talk smack about conservatives,
To the “Make” Love to a GOP Congressman in his soggy butthole serenade!

Ok… that was beyond friggen whack. But hey… I’m a writer, not a friggen poet. OKAY!?

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On a more serious note, I wasn’t watching the Maddow show 2nite, but I ran into a status update in which she mentioned this site: GetGlue. At first, I figured it’s like a store for nasty kids who need glue to eat. But soon I discovered that it is in fact a social networking site that revolves around television shows . . .

Ladies and gentlemen, I verily testify to you that today I have seen the coming of the glory of the lord!

(Imagine a cartoon picture of Jesus holding up a mini TV to the sky… to God <-- I am also not an artist)

Thank you Miss Maddow for introducing this site to me. I’m still wary of it, and it will take me time to adjust (I could barely enjoy Prime Suspect tonight because I kept thinking about how people were receiving me), but I have a feeling I’m going to come to LOVE IT! Owe you one, Lil Mama!

//

Anyway. I don’t have much else to say, so I’m copying and pasting a blog post I wrote earlier this week. My contention is not that all conservatives are bad. I only wish to point out the hypocrisy of those conservatives who accuse liberals of intolerance. That’s some straight-up nonsense.

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Principles Of 21st-Century Conservatism: Intolerance, Bigotry And Outright Ignorance

Liberal Americans represent the last bastions of intolerance and bigotry in modern, 21-century America, or so conservatives frequently tout. Yet, conservatives continually prove otherwise -- that they themselves are the true harbingers of ignorance in America.

Take for instance the recent scandal surrounding Herman Cain. The right-leaning news organization Politico uncovered evidence suggesting that Cain sexually harassed two colleagues back in the '80s. Conservative mouthpiece and all-around congenial personality Ann Coulter refuted the allegations by claiming they were part of a "high-tech lynching" being orchestrated by Democrats who are "terrified of strong, conservative black men." She went on to state that "our [conservative] blacks are so much better than their [liberal] blacks," as if Herman Cain and other black notables in the conservative party are merely pieces of property.

Meanwhile, the most sensitive man on the planet, Rush Limbaugh, decried the "hit job" on Herman Cain, arguing that it was an "unconscionable, racially stereotypical attack," though the only ones to have mentioned race thus far were the brilliant conservative minds attempting to defend Martin Luther Herman Cain, Jr. Scout the 3rd. And oh, Rush asked the following thought-provoking question: "What's next, folks? A cartoon on MSNBC showing Herman Cain with huge lips eating a watermelon?"

The irony is that both Coulter and Limbaugh thrive on waging "racially stereotypical attack(s)" on anyone whom they dislike. For instance, after Halle Berry became the first African-American to win the Academy Award for Best Actress in 2002, Coulter proceeded to mock the momentous occasion with what else than a "racially stereotypical attack":

"Large-breasted, slightly cocoa women with idealized Caucasian features finally have a chance in Hollywood! They will, however, still be required to display their large breasts for the camera and to discuss their large breasts at some length with reporters."

As for Limbaugh, the French phrase 'faux pas' practically defines his very existence, as he revels in claiming that most criminals look like Jesse Jackson; stating that Obama would be a "tour guide" if he "weren't black": mocking public figures like Chinese president Hu Jintao; arguing that black people are irrelevant because they represent only 12 percent of the population; and accussing President Obama of promoting an economic program based entirely on "reparations."

Am I insinuating that all conservatives harbor racist and intolerant sentiment merely because two of their own kind do? Certainly not. However, a quick analysis of recent news stories clearly reveals a scary trend toward bigotry that fits perfectly alongside the rhetoric of both Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh:

• Herman Cain himself has an extensive track record for making outrageous statements. This past year alone, he said "African Americans" are "brainwashed" complainers, and that Muslim citizens must "prove their loyalty to the U.S. Constitution."
  
  
• Texas gun safety instructor Crockett Keller banned "socialist liberal[s]" who voted for Obama and those American citizens who practice Islam from participating in his class on the basis that neither are "true American[s]."
  
  
• A month ago, Boward County, Florida resident Nezar Hamze sought membership in the Broward Republican Executive Committee, only to be publicly taunted with chants of "terrorist" and "you're in Al-Qaeda." His application was denied.
  
  
• The "terrorist watchdog group" Americans Against Hate attempted to remove Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN) from the Congressional Task Force on Anti-Semitism because he purportedly has "associations" with groups that are "connected" to terrorism. Plus, allowing him to remain would apparently be an "offense to those who [have] fell victim to anti-Semitism."
  
  
• The founder of Americans Against Hate, Joe Kaufman, argued on Fox & Friends that the decision by Six Flags to host a Muslim Family Day on September 12 was "insensitive." Furthermore, he claimed the Muslim group that organized the event was involved with the 9/11 terrorist attacks.
  
  
• Tea Party members in Orange County crowded around Muslims preparing to attend a fundraising dinner and chanted "go home," "no Sharia law" and "Muhammad is a pervert." One of the protesters later said, "I know quite a few Marines who would be very happy to help these terrorists to an early meeting in paradise." Included among the Muslims were little children.
  
  
• Back in February, Montana GOP Rep. Kristen Hansen introduced HB516, a bill that would have repealed all statewide ordinances that protect LBGT citizens from discrimination. The bill thankfully failed to pass, but during During a House Judiciary Commitee hearing, the Republican majority purposefully limited opponents from speaking, though they had no qualms with allowing Pastor Harris Himes argue that homosexuality is a "sin worthy of death."
  
  
• After Dr. Mila Means stepped up as a potential abortion doctor for Wichita, Kansas -- which lacks an abortion doctor because the previous one, Dr. George R. Tiller, was murdered in 2009 -- anti-abortion conservative extremists began sending her death threats, publicizing her personal history and showing up at her home and business. Former Kansas Attorney General Phill Kline responded by ignoring the harassment and instead launching what what many described as an "inquisition" against her.
  
  
• The Director of Issues Analysis for the American Family Association (AFA), Bryan Fischer, has repeatedly accused homosexuals of having "as many as 300 to 1,000 sexual partners over the course of a lifetime." He also believes that devout Muslims are a threat to national security, that Muslims should be banned from the military and that homosexuality caused the rise of Adolph Hitler.
  
  
• Hardcore conservative Pat Buchanan wrote in his latest book, Suicide of a Superpower: Will America Survive to 2025?, that multiculturalism, or the acceptance and promotion of multiple cultures, amounts to "an across-the-board assault" on the "Anglo-American heritage" that, if left unchecked, will lead to America's demise. His reasoning included the assertion that immigrants lack "the academic or professional skills of European-Americans" and will therefore "suck the government dry."
  

Need I go on? I can if you would like. In fact, let me include one final story right out of today's headlines. While speaking to volunteers in Brockton, Massachusetts yesterday evening, consumer advocate Elizabeth Warren came under fire from an unemployed Tea Party supporter who accused the president of being a "foreign-born" national and then called Miss Warren a "socialist whore." Charming.

You know, conservatives pride themselves on their "open-mindedness," and yet, their actions have and continue to prove otherwise, for who is it that jumps on the backs of minority groups seeking rights? Who is it that blames the victims while letting the perpetrators run free? And who is it that espouses views that are wholly anathema to every fiber of true tolerance? More often than not, it is the conservative.

But, to associate all conservatives with such ignorance would be ignorant and hypocritical itself. Thus, I assert this and only this -- that some conservatives practice intolerance and bigotry, and that these conservatives, if left unchecked, could potentially destroy this nation, as a country whose people so heavily invest in intolerance, bigotry and ignorance will never find true success in the modern age.