By the way, I want to apologize for the R&R I posted last weekend about my landlord. I prefer to keep my personal tribulations private, but I had a moment of weakness. It happens!
Anyway. This week has been chockablock with exciting stories, so I have a lot to discuss. Unfortunately it’s so much that this isn’t going to be that great of a post. It’s kind of all over the place. I want to apologize in advance. There’s just not enough time left to edit it anymore, so here it is….
What About The Children?
Last weekend teen heartthrob and child prodigy Justin Bieber decked some 12-year-old punk who referred to him as a ‘f***ot.’ Clearly this young man has more heart and courage than I’ve ever possessed, as I’ve never once raised a finger let alone a fist at an obnoxious shit-talker—despite being picked on all my life. I personally refuse to engage in violence because I believe in the words of Gandhi, who once said, “I cannot teach you violence, as I do not myself believe in it.”
However, Gandhi also said, “I can only teach you not to bow your heads before any one, even at the cost of your life.” With that and Bieber’s age both in mind, all I have left to say is, “ROCK ON, DUDE!” Hopefully he’ll handle such situations better in the future, but I don’t blame him a single bit for what he did. Sometimes the best way to deal with a bully is to just sock him or her in the face! This however doesn’t work quite as well with adults ;-).
Anyway. Later this week CNN posted an article about Willow Smith’s upcoming video for her hit song, “Whip My Hair.” I was immediately thrown back by all the nasty comments that followed. Some lady said that Willow looks like a ‘tramp,’ while another complained that she’s a spoiled and worthless brat. Honestly, these comments really pissed me off. And the comments being posted about Bieber are pissing me off as well.
Look, both Bieber and Smith are children. I don’t care if people want to run their mouths off about Obama, Muslims, Johnny Knoxville, or even me (though they might get knocked out), but how dare they speak ill of children! I don’t mind fun and lighthearted jokes, but when grown adults start referring to a children as ‘tramps’ or ‘f***ots,’ they’re crossing the line. What disturbs me the most though are all the parents who behave like this. Not only are they acting like ignorant jerks, but they’re also being irresponsible role models. Where do you think that 12-year-old punk learned that’s it’s okay to disrespect another human being like that?
You know, it’s bad enough that children bully and debase one another. But it’s even worse that adults do it to children as well. There’s something truly wrong with a society when it becomes commonplace and even acceptable to demean children, especially if their only faults are being successful and talented. It really is a disgrace. But as I said earlier, I don’t mind fun jokes that aren’t meant to disrespect. I’m not some uptight ass. But remember… there’s a limit to everything.
Speaking of which, don’t even get me started on people who rip children’s dreams apart.
*Wipes tear from eyes* All little Bobby wanted was to see the flowers grow. But instead he saw them die.
Hasty Generalizations
Sometimes it feels like the world has it out for black people. Every single time I read an article about black people—whether their culture, their churches, or merely their hairstyle—I always stumble on a thousand+ disparaging comments talking about ‘all black people’ this, ‘all black people’ that.
For instance, earlier this week LeBron James shared a racially charged tweet that he received. It read, "U r a big nosed big lipped bug eyed n*****. ur greedy, u try to hide ur ghettoness." That’s a rather demeaning and inappropriate comment, wouldn’t you say? What sort of response do you think that the story garnered?
Well, some people called LeBron a crybaby, some lamented over his decision to switch teams, and others just repeated the same sort of racist trash that was initially hurled at him. So in anger, several clearly upset black commenters struck back by calling all white people racist and intolerant.
This immediately struck a chord in a man named Will, who responded by saying, “It strikes me rather odd that a racist tweet was made against a black person, and then all of the sudden, there's a few responses accusing ‘whites’ of bigotry in this matter. Jumping the gun and accusing whites is in itself either pure carelessness, or just another form of bigotry.”
I completely agree with Will. Unfortunately, it’s very easy to get so riled up with anger that people fall right down to the same level as their aggressors. It’s a disturbing cycle that even I’ve experienced. In the past, when others attacked me with racism, I resorted to fighting back with just as many racial overtones. This would never happen anymore though because I’ve come to realize that the correct and adult way to handle such a situation is to maintain one’s cool.
No matter how much racism or how many insults are flung at you, you must stay poised, confident, and professional. If you resort to the same tactics that were used against you, that makes you no better than the original instigator. By the way, this rule applies to everybody—whites, blacks, Asians, Hispanics, etc. By the way, why does Microsoft Word capitalize Asians and Hispanics, but not whites and blacks? That’s racist ;-)!
Anyway. I want to end this section by quoting my future wife.
“I just embrace all people of all lifestyles, and I don’t tell them that they are bad people. But I feel like people always wanna define me and I don’t wanna be defined. The point is, everyone is not black and white. There are so many shades in the middle, and you’ve got to let people feel comfortable with being who they are.” - Nicki Minaj.
You’re So Well Well-Rounded!
This has been one wild and wacky week on Coast to Coast AM radio. Almost every show featured so-called experts who not only believe in ridiculous conspiracies like the Illuminati, shape-changing reptilian aliens, and chemtrails—but who’re also fundamentalist Christians who use Bible quotes to defend their outrageous theories. It’s like they get off on living in a fantasy world. I am open-minded enough to accept the possibility of alien existence, a link between vaccines and autism, and God, but someone who claims reptilian aliens situated underneath Area 51 are working with the Jews to create a slave race is just plain crazy. There are no ifs, ands, or butts about it!
But my favorite moment came when a black woman called into the show. “How do you know she was black?” you ask. Her name, her voice, her mention of a Jay-Z song, and her proclivity towards using Greyhound busses all led me to this unproven and totally fucked-up conclusion. Regardless, the lady claimed that once while discussing government conspiracies with other passengers on a bus, she began hearing voices that said, “Love the government. The government is good.” She ended her story by claiming that she’s not schizophrenic. Uh…. If she’s not schizophrenic, then I’m not a dumbass. Figure it out.
Thankfully the week ended on a high note when renowned author and journalist Professor Charles Seife came on to discuss real stuff like string theory, supersymmetry, the God particle, and multiverses. It was quite refreshing to hear somebody speak about topics that at least resonate with some degree of factuality. I realize that we can’t technically prove concepts like the atom and the God particle, but at least there’s a shitload of scientific logic behind them.
Anyway. A lot of crazies called into to question Charles, who happens to be agnostic, about his beliefs. They kept bringing up Bible prophesies and whatnot. But one guy really caught my attention. He said, “Dude… you’re so well rounded!” BINGO! And you want to know how he became that way? Through education and the procurement of knowledge! It’s all about learning, folks. And learning isn’t just restricted to book knowledge and science. A truly well rounded person is willing to learn a little about everything—science, technology, politics, romance, doggy-tail communication, hillbilly culture, Buddhism, Bluetooth, and even conspiracy theories. The more you know, the better.
However, a well-rounded individual should also possess enough common sense to be able to distinguish truth from fiction. I don’t mean to generalize all conspiracy theorists, but in my opinion most of their beliefs are based on, as Penn and Teller would say, BULLSHIT.
However, the theorists might be onto something with their assertion that Jewish Men in Black are secretly planning to take over the world in 2012 using their unknown-til-now Jewish Kungfu powers.
AH YAH! Well actually, for a Jew it’d be more like MAZEL TOF! And don’t ask me why they’re saying ‘Thank You’ because I have no idea. It’s all part of their evil plan, dude!
The Mean Girls of Morehouse
There’s a huge story brewing in the black community right now, and most of you probably haven’t heard anything about it. On October 11th, Vibe Magazine published an article about the androgynous men who attend Morehouse College. Just for clarification, Morehouse is a private, all-male historically black college (HBC) situated in Atlanta, Georgia. Some of its notable alumni include Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Spike Lee, and Samuel L. Jackson, to name a few.
Anyway. Though Morehouse officials purportedly harbor no prejudice against homosexuals, they don’t look too favorably on androgyny—let alone anything that differs from the status quo. So a bit over a year ago they enacted a new dress code that bans students from wearing caps, do-rags, sunglasses (really?), sagging pants, dresses, tops, tunics, purses, and pumps.
Then just a few weeks ago, Vibe magazine decided to cover the androgyny situation at Morehouse by publishing an article entitled, “The Mean Girls of Morehouse.” School officials and some students immediately fired back, claiming that the article was distorting Morehouse’s image & reputation. They asked questions like:
Why not write about the good things Morehouse does?
Why talk about such a small segment of the population?
Why talk about an “old” issue?
Suffice it to say, the article managed to open up a huge can of beans. The issues continue to rage, with both sides openly debating the dress code, Vibe Magazine’s controversial piece, and all the associated ramifications. As is evident, it’s quite a controversial issue.
Anyway. My favorite radio-show host, Mr. Michael Baisden, has himself spoken out against androgynous behavior at Morehouse. He feels that dressing in such a manner is inappropriate, not to mention disrespectful. He argues that Morehouse is a private institution, which means it has the right to enact and then enforce whatever rule or rules it deems necessary. Furthermore, Mr. Baisden has noted that Morehouse is a historical college with a rich history. The question he and many others are asking is, “What would Martin Luther King, Jr. think about it?”
Well, though I respect Mr. Baisden’s opinion, I vehemently disagree with it. It is indeed important to recognize our history and traditions. However, it’s also equally important to learn from mistakes made in the past. And considering that we live in an age of open-mindedness, tolerance, and equality, I find it disturbing and almost hypocritical that Morehouse would enact such stringent rules. Who are they to decide how students should dress? Personally I believe Morehouse should rescind its dress code in its entirety, and allow students to dress however they choose. So long as they don’t break the basic rules of dressing in public—don’t be nude, don’t show your genitals, etc.—I frankly don’t care.
Now of course some people argue that this is a foolish ideology because you can’t dress freely in the workplace. That’s incorrect. Admittedly most professional organizations don’t cater to their employees’ individual preferences. However, there are some companies that do. For instance, my brother makes over $100,000 a year working for a very prestigious computer company (think Intel, MontaVista, Compaq, etc.). And guess what… he goes to work everyday dressed like a low-down hippy. I’m talking about shirt, shorts, and shoes straight out of Good Will.
I understand that Morehouse is a private institution with a rich history, but it’s time for Morehouse to pull itself out the Dark Ages. Martin Luther King, Jr. believed in equality and justice for all. And though there’s no telling how he personally would react to androgyny at Morehouse, if he really believed and practiced that which he preached, he would openly accept all those who’re different than him.
Plus think about Ghandi. This great man spent the majority of his life trotting around India in a gown and flipflops, which (no offense) is kind of girly. If Ghandi were alive and he visited Morehouse, would they complain about his garb? Hmmmmmmm? Think about that.
Lookin’ good, GIRLFRIEND! (finger snap)
Lighten Up, Everybody!
So this week feminists worldwide threw a fit over a YouTube video depicting pledges of Delta Kappa Epison’s Phi chapter shouting phrases such as “no means yes” and “yes means anal.” Personally I don’t get it. It’s not like they’re encouraging people to go out and rape women (or men, for that matter). They’re just being silly, goofy fratboys. What’s so wrong with that?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a fan of frats and I would never consider joining one. Nevertheless, I like most fraternity men and sorority women because the one thing they all have in common is that they love to have fun, act silly, and be goofy. And you know what my three favorite pastimes are? Having fun, acting silly, and being goofy!
I just wonder why people are so uptight that they continually choose to make something out of nothing. You know, just today I stumbled on and shared a Waka Flocka Flame, President Barack Obama music video parody titled, Baracka Flacka Flame - Head of the State.” It features an Obama impersonator rapping alongside Michelle right dab in the middle of the hood. Personally I think it’s absolutely hilarious! Some of my friends think otherwise.
They say the video is racist, which is complete bullshit because it was produced by black people! But more importantly, they claim that it only perpetuates the negative way in which all white people supposedly view black people. Now they’ve got to be kidding me. Even if that is true, are they telling me that they think it’s better to be quiet and act a role rather than be free—lest ‘massah’ see them or their ‘brothers’ & ‘sisters’ acting “coonish”? Don’t they realize the slavish mentality in that? Sighs. Be free… BE FREE!
Look, the bottom line is that it was just a funny video. It wasn’t meant to be a commentary on the president or on black culture. It was just supposed to make people chuckle and giggle in glee—kind of like an SNL or Mad TV sketch. What’s so wrong with that?
But yes, I do admit that the video kind of brings into light onto some of the negative behaviorisms that generally emanate from the black community. Poverty stricken black folk from the hood tend to dress a certain way, curse a lot, buy icecream from an icecream truck, and have multiple baby-mammas or baby-daddys. By the same token, many members of the white hood (aka the trailer park) speak garbled English, have been on the Jerry Springer Show, and may or may not be a Tea Party member ;-). And don’t even get me started on the smelly-ass, rat-eating members of the Indian hood! Speaking of which, I’m hungry!
My point is that pretending like these stereotypical behaviorisms don’t exist is foolish. They do exist. Mind you, people like Michael Baisden are trying their hardest to educate and empower the poor so that they can rise up and better their communities. But in the meantime, can’t we just sometimes sit back and laugh at reality? Are you trying to tell me that seeing ‘Obama’ smoking a joint of reefer while Michelle shakes her ass in front of a thug isn’t funny? Obama is black. Most black hiphop videos feature reefer and hoes. Combine the two totally unrelated concepts and you get something called parody and satire. Look it up and buy yourself a sense of humor! 4 real though!
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That’s it for today. Trust me when I say it’s been a very long day. I’ve been writing, editing, reediting, REPEAT all day long. Sometimes I wish I’d get over this stupid blog habit because it tends to make Fridays a lot more stressful than they ought to be. And for what? Absolutely nothing…. save perhaps a tiny bit of supposed self-esteem. Ay yi yi. Like I said earlier, I’m a dumbass!
PS #1. So this week someone called me a know-it-all. Yeah… I admit I’m a know-it-all. I can’t help it though. I LOVE TO TALK! Just ask my roomie. Whenever we work out together, I spend the entire time yapping my gums off. Since most of my life is spent in quiet solitutde, I tend to go a little lip crazy whenever given the chance to express myself. Sawwy… but that’s just the way I am.
PS #2. Wasup with America’s smartphone obsession? I don’t get it. I'm sitting here with a gigantic 22" widescreen, 1080p monitor; a comfortable keyboard; and a convenient mouse. The prospect of trying to browse the net and type up emails (let alone a blog) on a tiny smartphone, let alone a laptop, just doesn't appeal to me. Sadly this old dog just isn’t up to learning new tricks!
PS #3. So researchers say it’s better to have sex several times a week. You got that right! Me and my girlfriend Thumbalina (my thumb + the other four fingers) do it three times a week—and we're quite happy! *sings* Strokeeeeeeee itttttttttt babbbbbbbbbyyyyyyyyy.
PS #4. I hate uptight movie critics. Some psycho broad complained that Jackass is leading to the end of civilization. OH PLEASE! This is how I responded:
Blah blah blah. I watched Agora this weekend. It's a provocative and thought-inspiring film that a simpleton like yourself couldn't even possibly begin to grasp. Yet I fully intend to watch Knoxville's film as well. You and those like you are uptight elitists -- and are in fact the real problem with America. Believe it or not, but there's more sanity in letting out a fart than there is in being an elitist snob. Speaking of which, let some gas out your butt for a change. It'll do you wonders! You might also want to trying having an orgasm as well.
PS #5. According to Christine O’Donnell, “American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains.”
Ladies and Gentlemen…. Micky Mouse has attained consciousness!
And for some odd reason he’s decided to dress up as a dog for Halloween. Hmmm... that’s just weird!
Night!
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