None Of Y'all Betta (Jadakiss)

Evening. I got a lot on my mind, but I’m going to start with a genuine rant. I’ll then follow it with a much more comprehensive analysis. FYI – This rant is geared at a group of musically inclined and spoiled-ass rich idiots on TinyChat who thought it wise to demean me for my lack of style and then lecture me on world affairs. Bad choice, Joyce.

RANT: Dear TinyChat Musicians

You got a lot of game, you make a lot of money and you're talented. We all know it. But do not dare feign intellectualism by arguing the purported 'common sense' of a non-existent world order operated by the 'man,' you stupid mother****ers. Too many big words for you?

Let me ****ing tell you something. I'm the college-educated son of a professor who has been on 5 continents, including North America, South America, Africa, Europe AND Asia, bitch. Yes, I'm lame, I have no game, I get no pussy and my bankroll is weak, but I'm ****ing smart.

Yes, you got game, you get pussy and your Dad hangs out with Lil Wayne, but you're ****ing stupid. What's the derivative of 5x^3? What's the capital of Syria? What was the Bay of Pigs? Why is Europe's economy crumbling? Don't know? EXACTLY. You're a ****ing ignoramus with a brain the size of a ****ing ant, bitch.

DUHHHHHHH.

DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

There is no ****ing world order or Illuminati, so stop preaching to the choir with your nonsensical bullshit, and start paying attention to reality, bitch. Watch the ****ing news, memorize the names of all the countries in Asia, read some ****ing books and take a mental bath, you dumb*** morons.

Excuse me if I sound bitter and annoyed, but I take umbrage to having to listen to a bunch of uneducated, inarticulate and foolish morons acting like they're more intelligent than me. You got more money and pussy, but mentally, you are no ****ing match for me, because I will crush you with my brain!

This has been a public broadcast brought to you by the I'm Smarter Than You Foundation of America.

Analysis: Cultural Differences

There is an obsession among certain cultures to attire oneself flashingly at all times. Such people splurge more money on clothing and jewelry than the rest of us typically spend on rent, bills and just getting by in our current economy.

Do I harbor resentment at their gaudy sense of style? Certainly not. As a progressive liberal, I appreciate the differences between cultures. What I find disturbing, however, is such people’s penchant for disparaging those of us who approach life differently.

If you feel forking over $500.00 or more in one day for the latest outfits and bling is in your best interest, then do it. I won’t look down at you. But don’t look down at me because I prefer to spend said money on books, gadgets and future investments.

Different cultures prioritize different things. It’s no big deal; it’s just the way it is. The truth is, actually, that different people have different priorities, but for the sake of argument, let’s approach this from a cultural standpoint.

Indian people lack style. I don’t think I’ve ever met an Indian who actually knows how to dress sexily. We’re hardwired from birth to focus more on intellectual pursuits than superficialities—not to say there is anything wrong with pursuing the latter.

Like I said previously, such differences are normal and should be encouraged. Does this mean we can’t poke fun at one another from time to time with a good, old-fashioned roast? Absolutely not. But there is a significant difference between poking fun and outright insulting one another.

That said, I ask that people remember to respect the differences among one another. This planet houses a multitude of unique people with distinct preferences. Some favor the Christian religion, while others prefer Islam. Likewise, some prefer toying with dorky gadgets, while others prefer flaunting their fly Jordans.

The Hearts Of REAL Men

Why do the same slimeballs who spend all day telling these “bitches” to get “nuked” feel it appropriate to call me a pervert for wanting to have a real conversation with a female? Yes, I’m a 29-year-old heterosexual male who enjoys conversing with 18+ females, but that does not make me a perv.

You idiots are misogynist perverts who objectify women all day, everyday because sex is all you’re capable of comprehending. You know what attracts me most to a woman... besides a beautiful smile, lovely eyes, nice hair and a nice body (I'm still a man, lol)? Intelligence, a sense of humor, a kind temperament and a big heart.

SMDH. To you morons, I’m gay if I don’t treat women like trash, and I’m a pervert if I try to have a real conversation with one. Look up the phrase “worthless men” sometime, because you idiots are the very definition of it.



NERDSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

The word ‘nerd’ is a pejorative used to belittle geeky, got-no-game men who expend more energy “orgasmifying” their mind than they do trying to get laid—either because they don’t care about sex or they’ve given up trying to have sex altogether.

In my case, I’m an anxious guy who grew up in an intellectual household. The focus wasn’t on dressing nice; it was on getting good grades, preparing for college and staying out of trouble. Suffice it to say, I was taught to admire substance over style, though the lesson clearly hasn’t always stuck with me :-).

Anyway. The term ‘nerd’ is used frequently by those people who respect style over substance. Again, I don’t find this particular cultural anomaly at all discomfiting. What’s annoying and offensive, however, is when such people try to challenge me intellectually, thinking that their swag triumphs my mind.

Though many of these people possess a superior sense of aesthetics, they are abysmally unaware of the world’s greater affairs—international and domestic politics, significant scientific pursuits and the declining state of America’s educational system, to name a few.

Thus, they easily fall privy to the comically incredulous bullshit put forth by the likes of David Icke, Alex Jones and Glenn Beck, to name a few. It worries me that so many from this particular culture find wisdom in ignorance, but again, I say let them be content in that which brings them comfort.

When one of them tries to take me on, however, it’s on like Donkey Kong. I pay close attention to the REAL news. I learned a long time ago not to fall for conspiracy theories. There is only 1 world in real life, but there are plenty of additional worlds in the mind of a nut. And though I’m goofy like the Fresh Prince, I ain’t a nut, partna’.

So before you come at me with conspiracy theories you got from listening to the radio, go get your GED, take a few college courses and read the newspaper. Until then, STFU, because your views hold no credibility in the real world—though I’m sure they are “all that and a bag ah’ chips” in your fantasy world, biatch.

///////

I know… you’re thinking, “What a hater.” I try to show love, but I’m getting fed up with all the shit talking that comes my way. If you’re going to act like you’re better than me because you have more swag and can sing, then **** you; I’m going to act the same because I’m smarter than you’ll ever be.

The next time you want to go on about that “bitch nerd” or “lame fag,” think twice, because just because we’re “lame” doesn’t mean we’re dummies, or that we’ll sit there and take it, because we won’t. And you want to know why? Because none of ya’ll — not a single damn one of you — are betta! And if you think you are betta, then meet me in the IQ test room Monday morning, 7am sharp, cuz it’s ONNNN!

PS #1 – There is no such thing as karma. If there were, a million or more starving African women would be given the chance to trade places with the Kardashians. Karma is simply meant to make us feel bad when we do something wrong, though given the current state of our society, it clearly doesn’t work anymore. Instead it provides incentive to feel smug when we see our enemies fail. “Karma got you!” we exclaim to ourselves… til our turn comes, that is.

PS #2 – Excuse me for articulating myself. I don’t care if you don’t speak proper English. I’ve always been open-minded. Back in 2008, I got owned on here on and on for speaking improper English. But since then I’ve seen learned how to speak properly, as per my career choice. And now ya’ll mock me because of it. Can a brotha ever get peace? I speak improperly, I’m tryna’ act hard. I speak properly, and I’m a lame. Do you have any idea just how much society frustrates the hell out of me? SMDH!

PS #3 – I’M NOT OLD, ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS #4 – Good night and HAPPY early NEW YEAR! Mayhap I’ll be back tomorrow. IDK yet whether I’ll watch a movie or not. If not, I’ll be tuned into K97.5 for sure!

PS #5 – 1

Tonight Is The Night (Outasight)

Good Evening! I don’t know about you folks, but I had a terrific week, due in no small part to my roomie being on Christmas vacation. It just further cements the fact that I function much better when I’m alone, save for the case of a live-in girlfriend or a wife. Unfortunately, only a few days remain until Dear Leader returns and this place turns back into Camp AwwwShit! Yo, I deserve a cookie for my wit :-)!

The Best Of Both Worlds

Ladies and gentlemen, I believe I have discerned an optimal resolution for our current financial crisis.

First, I propose we privatize entitlements and hand them over to Wall Street in the hope that they can double or triple what is currently in the coffers. This will prevent Social Security and Medicare from eventually crashing, which they will if we do nothing.

Second, I recommend that we federalize healthcare and set up a public option. It would curb the excessive growth in healthcare costs, while also offering poorer Americans a chance to secure protection from future illnesses that may beset them.

This solution allows for the best of both worlds—conservatives get a taste of smaller government, while liberals get a taste of bigger government. Privatizing entitlements makes me very nervous as a liberal, but I would gladly approve this plan nonetheless if I were president and I had a sane Congress with whom to work, because the key to good politics, in my opinion, lies in being willing to compromise.



PS – my Fiscal IQ is 85. What’s yours?

PS #2 – Despite my high fiscal IQ, I still can’t correctly articulate the friggen difference between the debt and deficit, lol.

Pulling Up The Blinders

Excuse the excessive use of the passive voice, but I’m blogging tipsy, not writing the next great American novel.

I’ve been on Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor drugs like Zoloft and Paxil since I was 15. Prior to being prescribed medication, I was so shy that I would either stare at the teacher or look down at my desk in class. I never spoke with my peers or participated in group activities. Mine was a very lonely existence devoid of human contact, save for my mom, dad and brother.

Within a month of being prescribed Paxil, I was starting to look up at the world. A year later and I was talking and developing some connections. Then after a horribly painful rejection from a female, I began seeking out respect from the cool guys. I started by passing out printed jokes and porno pictures. That got me some laughs, but earned me only looks of total disgust from the ladies. This angered me.

By 10th grade, I didn’t give a fuck anymore. Fuck bitches. Money, power, weed and respect, hoe. I took great pride in listening to gritty rap lyrics and getting high:

“That's why we sing for these kids, who don't have a thing
Except for a dream, and a fuckin' rap magazine
Who post pin-up pictures on their walls all day long
Idolize they favorite rappers and know all they songs
Or for anyone who's ever been through shit in their lives
Till they sit and they cry at night wishin' they'd die
Till they throw on a rap record and they sit, and they vibe
We're nothin' to you but we're the fuckin' shit in they eyes
That's why we seize the moment try to freeze it and own it, squeeze it and
hold it”

Mind you, my preference at the time was 2Pac.

Many years have passed since, and now I’m a functioning adult male with a job, a home and a dog. I think it’s time for me to take off the blinders.

Many claim that Paxil dulls one’s emotional senses. That’s the point, in fact—to dull the emotional anxiety and make one’s emotions manageable.

Two problems present themselves, however.

Problem Number 1: Frankly, Paxil makes my wiener limp. Without Levitra or the generic equivalent, I’m about as useless in the sack as John Boehner is as House leader. The other day I attempted to make a self-porno. I lay back on my bed and used my telekinetic powers to make my winky combat the forces of gravity and RISE UP.



But as soon as I stood up to show Godzilla off to my webcam, it started to go limp faster than the republicans caved in to Obama earlier today. Ergo, the problem. Prior to getting on Paxil, I was a horndog. I would get stiffies to some of the ugliest-ass teachers ever, real talk. But now I’m a man without proper blood circulation in his genitals… and it sucks!

Problem Number 2: I feel like I’m missing out on something… that my lack of “empathy” or wtf ever is preventing me from really feeling and experiencing what I should. It’s like blinders are somehow blocking my vision. Am I really without empathy, or is it just the medication? What would happen to me if I were to break free from this state?

The problem is that Paxil withdrawal is very painful and difficult (you have no idea). The one time I went without it for a short time (insurance issues from when I turned 26; THANK YOU @ NC for paying my way since then), I wanted to kill myself. Electric zaps in my head. Suicidal thoughts. Anxiety like no other. Depression. It was hell on Earth.

For now, I’m just going to downgrade from 20mg a day to 10mg a day. I will wait til I see my NC psych in March b4 proceeding further. I regret not bringing this up with her earlier this week, but it didn’t occur to me until like 2 days ago. I was tripping over my lack of sexual desire two days ago (I hate getting called a loser or lame just because I’m not a pervert; Paxil has killed my sex drive, but I’m still a man), and that’s what led me to this revelation.

Anyway.

The Scary World Of Networking

My chief website got hit hard two weeks ago by a switch in Google’s search algorithm. It’s gone from 200+ views per day down to 90-110 per day. I’m tired of performing endless search engine optimization, so I’m getting ready to do something I’ve been avoiding since day one: network with other professionals.

One key aspect of e-marketing entails building what are called “reciprocal links” with business owners who own similarly themed websites. I’ve avoided it from the beginning because I hate networking. If I could, I would operate a business on my own merits. Unfortunately, one cannot survive on the Web like this.

Wish me luck! Thus far, I have failed, as everybody I’ve emailed has either ignored me or told me to fuck off—with kinder words, mind you. Sighs. I’ll keep trying, though! Below is my email. Sorry if it’s not all fancy, but I keep it real and from the heart (and people say I lack empathy?????):

//

Hi,

I built my first-ever website, SmokeWithoutFear.com, a year ago, and after spending months on SEO work, I think I’m finally ready to start networking. I’m a really shy guy, so I’ve been avoiding this step. What with the recent change in Google’s algorithm, however, I think it’s time for me to take the leap and build relationships with other professionals. That said, do you accept reciprocal links?

Thank you kindly for your time.

Sincerely
***** ******

Final Thoughts

#1. I’m so glad I watched Thirteen Days last weekend. It reawakened my love for politics in a way that was greatly needed. I’m back to paying close attention. Mind you, it did help that this past week was so dramatic. I quite love political showdowns that threaten to destroy the nation. They give me goose bumps!

#2. Why the f**k am I always the target when a TinyChat Roast starts up? Everybody acts like I’m some 45-year-old pedo. Look, I want a 21 or older wife. And yeah, I’m balding, but that’s just Paxil-induced hairloss, BITCH! And yeah I’m ugly, but I WAS BORN THIS WAY (how you think my Mama felt having to raise my ugly ass for 18+ years, you insensitive prick?)!

#3. I’M NOT GAY, YOU ASS! I’m just a sensitive romantic with a dysfunctional dick. 1 hit of Levitra and a night with yo bitches, and you’d best believe they’d be my bitches!

#4. I’m out of jokes n thoughts, and I really need a cigarette.

#5. Ya’ll have a great Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and, most importantly, a great NO-ROOMIE weekend!!!

A Song You Like (An Artist You Like)

not writing much

i got a hd webcam this week that I PAID FOR and i have fell in love with it

love to spend my free time on tinychat chilling with college-aged folks

yah, i'm almost 30, but i don't care

nothing says i have to grow up fast, or at all

i look like a fool, aye? idc. but that u somehow think that looking like a fool is wrong (the way u said it?) irritates me

for once in a long time, i'm having fun. i feel good. im socializing by voice n video

tinychat is like socializing in real life, except a lot easier

i mainly type, but i like to be on cam so people can see me

i like hearing others talk

every once in awhile, i turn on my mic n say something

im enjoying it

meanwhile, im working hard during the week

and yah, i don't pay as close attention to politics anymore -- but so what?

i still know wtf is going on

one need not be obsessed with the news to be aware of it, yah know?

--

sorry for flipping out earlier

im just under mad stress at times and don't know how to handle it

i'm not a mean person; i just live and do

but it seems like every little thing i do pisses someone off

well, cry a river because i'm here on this earth for me

when i am well off enough, i will give back

right now, i have countless of my own demons to overcome

so unless you got love to show

just leave me alone please

//

why everyone else think they know what's best for me?

or ask me why i'm trying to be something I'm not?

I may be a kid at heart but I still have the mind of a grown man.

I know who I am, where I am hopefully headed and what I want out of life.

So in the words of 2pac Shakur, "Let me live, baby. Let me live!"

\\

so why is it about you and not me?

well, take a look at me and then look at yourself

what about you do you see in me?

what about me can you relate with?

what about me do you envy?

what about me do you pity?

\\--//

i guess i was wrong

IT IS ABOUT ME! :-)

aHAH

GOTCHA' BITCH!

Night.

PS --

Sorry to someone. last weekend i made fun of people who like the hangover. i have a lot of enemies who like it, but i have never liked it. this week someone i like has been sour to me, so i finally was like wtf n looked at her profile to see if i could find a clue. i found the hangover 2 in her likes n it hit me... shit

baby... i wasn't referring to you. i don't do sly ninja shit like that. the whole post was directed @ people in raleigh. my city pisses me off a lot. or it has been lately. i have no beefs with u. if u watch it, then that's cool. i just... i act Peter'ish when I get angry, dig?

but it wasn't u i was targeting, point blank

u too adorable 4 that

1

Umma Be A Video Star

Check it out:



I may do a full video rant 2nite. Idk. All depends. Holla.

Heart Stereo (Gym Class Heroes)

Evening, folks.

This post may be short because my left hand is still jacked up. I can now lift my wrist, but I can’t hold it up to type. Just lifting it requires a tremendous deal of effort. It sucks, but Id rather have a bout of short-lasting radial nerve palsy than a fractured wrist!

I Am A Marketer

I’ve finally figured out my path in life. I’m destined to be an online marketer. I enjoy reading books about it, I enjoy talking about it and I even enjoy doing it. More importantly, I am becoming better at it. Just a year at the marketing game has netted me almost half a grand per month in residual income. God knows how far I could go if I keep working hard at it.

It’s hard to work a regular job AND do marketing, but stress kind of helps. I’ve been really stressed for the past few months because I kind of hate my living situation. For a while, I tried escaping by looking for a shared room, but I’ve given up on that as well. Got love for the city, but I ain’t trying to live with any of you uptight motherfuckers.

NO PETS
NO SMOKING
CHRISTIANS ONLY
FEMALES ONLY

You know what? I would rather work hard as fucking hell to build enough income to afford renting a townhouse to myself than live with any of you—point blank. I’m sick of the bull and the hypocrisy. I put Raleigh to the test this week by posting an ad that was just as discriminating but from a different angle, and of course it was flagged:

“I am looking for a sane renter to live in my 3-bedroom, 2-1/2 bath town home. You will get your own private room with your own bathroom on the 2nd floor. I reside on the 1st floor with my dog, cat, rabbit, mouse, monkey and singing parakeet. No pets please.

I believe deeply in Allah, and I would prefer a like-minded individual, as I do not allow any Christmas decorations or ring tones in my home. In fact, I expect you to never ever wear green and red clothes at the same time around me. Please no Santa hats.

Please do not reply if you are a woman or fat or homosexual, as I prefer the presence of only skinny heterosexual Allah-fearing men, save for my three morbidly obese daughters who visit on the weekends. No kids please.

Urine, sweat, blood, hair and venereal disease tests required beforehand. Must pay for background check, criminal history report, address verification and credit report from Experian. Also, must get nude, bend over and cough on the weekends, as I cannot risk my daughters' safety.

Tobacco smoking is highly encouraged here. If you cannot handle much daily hookah smoke, look elsewhere please. Must also be able to handle strong 24/7 smell of halal chicken.

$500 deposit and last-month rent requirement. Must provide employment references and list of past partners.

Thank you.

Allahu Akbar”

I guess only “normal” Christians are allowed to be discriminating asses in this city. And that’s why I’m going to work my ass off year after year until I can afford to move out West… to the land of the Golden Bridge.



SOD: Stacks On Deck

I gotta give a shout-out – more so for my blog than this room – to Soulja Boy. I started following him on Facebook because I was crushing badly on Kreayshawn, and I know she and him are friends. A few weeks ago, around when my crush was really starting to get to me, Soulja announced his website, and I decided to join.

Since then, I’ve become an avid tinychat user. I had used tinychat before, but I had never been able to find a home. I would just bounce from room to room, always lying in the background — silent and without life. At Soulja’s site, however, I kind of have a home. And I rather like it.

What’s so cool about this place is that it’s for everybody. Sometimes 16 year olds stop by, while at other times 30 year olds stop by. For the most part, however, it’s primarily cats who 17, 18 or in their early to mid 20s. And I vibe hella well with them (wadup Angelina!).

That said, I want to thank Soulja, and I figure the best way to do this is by giving back to someone else who needs help. I have the perfect person in mind. This cat is only a few years behind me, but he has absolutely nothing going for him save for some greasy butt-cheeks (please don’t ask). I was doing nothing with my life at his age, but at least I had an education — one which I eventually fell back on.

How to help is the question, though. It’s hard to reach people, and I don’t have the patience to teach a motherfucker shit. Regardless, I will at least try.



Eat It

Some father ordered a hooker and encountered his daughter. A lot of fools were talking about how he’s a symptom of liberalism. Word? Then what the fuck is he?



That’s what I thought. Glass houses, bitches.

Hard Work

I’ve discovered the only way 2 be happy in life is through hard work. But I done been known this. What’s so hard is finding something you enjoy working hard at. By the time most people figure it out, it’s too late. The key is to try to figure it out early, because the earlier you start, the easier it’ll be.

Here’s the thing. Success isn’t overnight. It takes years. In the meantime, you have to do the worst shit ever: work a regular job (*cringes*). So the earlier you find what you enjoy doing and star WORKING HARD at it, the less regular work you have to do.

Look… I’m not lazy. I’ve worked a lot more menial jobs than people realized. And I really have been through hell. In fact, I deserve having my life story published one day… but not now, because I still have too many more miles to tread.

Life is a bitch. It’s fucking hard. And it doesn’t get easier unless you work for it. I don’t enjoy struggling every week at a dying company just barely to survive, but I have hope in my heart because I never stop grinding toward my dream of being successful.

Sighs… I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you want something (e.g., your own space, a loving girlfriend/wife and a trained dog that actually fucking listens), you have to work for it. I didn’t get here overnight. I’ve scrubbed toilets, washed dishes, bussed tables, wrapped burgers, stuffed taco shells, solved Calculus problems, analyzed the very confusing words of great philosophers and even sold my body (I was poor, suicidal and addicted to drugs, and I just didn’t care how I suffered, so long as my day ended with me doped up).

I’ve been through hell. And well… if you haven’t been to hell yet, then I suggest you at least dip a toe, because until you dive in and start swimming, you’ll never get to the other side: sweet, sweet heaven.

/////////

That’s it.

I love the Christmas decorations in my neighborhood. Ya’ll should host a contest and let me judge. I genuinely enjoy decorations. They show creativity, a fun spirit and humanity. Keep it up.

I know this well get flagged, so I’m going to go out as a dick.

Happy Karthikai Deepam!!!



We at Dicks R Us do not necessarily endorse the Hindu religion, but we thought it would be most fitting to bring up this most totally fly holiday.

PS//

My official Morning Joe tribute. Sorry to make it so simple, but my hand is jacked and it’s a total pain to type. I’m literally typing off the top of my head, because editing is too much work. And well, ya’ll deserve better than top the head stuff.

I’ll say this, tho. Prior, I knew some news from CNN and the Daily Show, but I didn’t know who the House Majority or Minority were, let alone Ghadaffi or Mubarak. Ya’ll introduced me to a whole new world of politics and news. I don’t know how else to repay you other than to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for exposing me to a new world.

The irony? If I hadn’t fractured my hand and ended up in Wake Med hospital for surgery almost exactly a year ago, I would not have stumbled on your show—and Ted Turner talking about a 1-baby rule (LOL). Cheers. (Thank you also to my surgeon. I will pay you one day… I promise.)

Love ya’ll (not really but you know what I mean) @ Mika, Joe, Mike/Willie, Donnie, Halperin, umm… and, well, everybody else!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

A Good Feeling (Flo Rida)

GOOD EVENING! First of all, I write for a living, so I don't feel like writin' all proper n shit for my rants. Hence forth, my writing may or may not sound proper:

Ray Barone: "Writing is what I do for a living."
Ray Barone: "I don't want to spend my free time writing."
Deb Barone: "But you love writing."
Ray Barone: "No."
Ray Barone: "It's--it's torture."
Ray Barone: "It's excruciating."

Anyway. What is up, Bible Belt residents? Sorry about the rant last week, but Raleigh got me trippin'. The weather is too damn cold, there ain't no palm trees and all the women are outdoorsy-like potential lesbians who like to fish (WTF?), hunt (Hell naw) or wade around naked in mud (kind of sexy, but not really).

I prefer the feminine type, but they usually hang out exclusively with jocks, jackasses and other assorted pretty-boy villains.

As for the sexy/mature crowd. . . well, the few who are single usually have a kid or two, and I'm sorry, but I literally refuse to raise a bastard.

The remaining ladies have the audacity to demand intimacy before sex:

Erin: "A woman wants to feel close to you before she sleeps with you."

My reply courtesy of Andy from Everybody Loves Raymond:

Andy: "And I say you will feel close to me once you sleep with me."

Daps!

SMDH @ women!

I'm tempted to hire this one $40 hooker from Craigslist, but she just so ugly! I can't stand sleeping with ugly women for free, let alone for a price, ya'mean!? Plus, IDK how much extra she would charge to do it without a condom. I'm sorry, but my uncircumcised wiener can't feel shit with plastic wrapped around it. Damn, I wish I had been born to a Jewish family!

TV Show Recommendation: Last Man Standing

I thought Last Man Standing would be lame, but I've been thoroughly enjoying it. It's fresh, fun and hip, and yet it still possesses that "Tim the Toolman Taylor" vibe we've all come to love. It's really a terrific, first-class show, and I'm genuinely impressed at Tim Allen's ability to wage a comeback. Tim succeeded where most actors fail. Plus, the show deals with a lot of modern issues, i.e., daughters getting poked all the time, lesbian neighbors (I WISH!) and kids that won't grow the hell up (why the hell you lookin' at me!?).

Plus, the two older daughters are so friggen fine. Where are the women like THAT in Raleigh!? 4 real, though!



4 real though... I can't figure out whom I love more. Kristin is more mature, but she has a friggen kid................. Meanwhile, Mandy is immature, but she's soooo sexy and soooo cuteeee! I just soooo badly want to feel up *COUGH* I mean sample her pie rack!

Grocery Store Recommendation: Harris Teeter

I was very wary of Harris Teeter when I moved to the North Side, but I've fallen in love with this grocery store. People act like it's so expensive, but it's really not. In fact, I spend less on skinless chicken breasts at Harris Teeter than I do at Food Lion or even Walmart. Plus, the chicken is of the highest quality.

Another aspect I like about Harris Teeter is that it attracts classy people. I don't particularly like Walmart, because almost every time I have ever visited Walmart, I've left it feeling like shit because somebody talked shit about me. At Harris Teeter, everybody is so busy with their own lives (these are hard-working people) that they don't have time to notice me. And I like that!

The last aspect to consider is that they offer free samples of SUSHI. Sushi, son! PHEW! And it's always so delicious. Note -- If you don't like sushi, you ain't no real balla! (non-raw sushi, mind you)

Plus, they got a section just for kids!



And oh, Chris Hansen sometimes works there. IDK why. But I've seen him on more than one occasion.

Original Bag Stuffer

I could have done sworn some cat earlier this week said something along the lines of, "You would make a great bag stuffer." WTF? Who the hell you think you talking too, boy!? Ain't no WOULD; I done WAS the best bagger in my ol' hood. Everybody came to me to get their bags stuffed, hoe. Word up.

Actually, no. I've never been a bag stuffer, but I have worked at a grocery store. I worked at an ol' school joint in the fruit department (SHUT UP!). I had to weigh all the fruits/veggies for all the very-much-near death old people. It was painstakingly boring and ANNOYING. Could never get any other work done (stocking, stealing beer, etc.) because a Granny was always coming up to the desk for a weigh-in.

I stole about $500 worth of beer before quitting by cussing out the boss. He knew I was stealing, but he couldn't figure out how. So he just kept pissing me off til I lost it. I've always been afraid of people, especially my peers, but I used to have the tendency to go ape-shit at authority figures. I've cussed out judges, talked shit to the police and more. I was very rebellious as a youth, and whenever somebody infringed on my purported teeny-bopper "rights," I snapped.

I do not condone stealing anymore, but you best believe I was one helluva thief back then. You'd be amazed at, lol, the thefts I got away with. Once, I was asked to write a statement. Everybody thought I was dumb as bricks. When they read what I wrote, they were like, "BULLSHIT!" They thought I had hired a lawyer to prepare a statement for me. Shittttt. . .. never underestimate quiet people.

Have no fears, because like I said, I don't condone stealing anymore. FYI -- Piracy is not stealing, lol. It's borrowing with the intent to repay the debt upon getting rich.

By the way, the above story was not embellished in the slightest form. Just because I'm quiet and weird doesn't mean I haven't done some crazy-ass shit. You'd be amazed. . .. you all really would be.

#SWAGG!

Unanswered Questions

Why is Gayle King's nickname Hoda?

Does Gayle King realize that her name spelled in reverse is Da Ho?

Why does that one locals news anchor always look like she surprised?

The Real Dog Whisperer

What do ya'll think when you see this?



"AWWWWW"?

You dumbasses.

Yeah, the dog is pouting. But what you fools don't get is that a pout is in fact nothin' but a passive-aggressive whine. Yo dog tricking yo subconscious into feeling sorry for its bitch-ass. It knows what it's doin' -- you had best believe.

Ya'll think dogs just these stupid, innocent pups, but that's not true. They're manipulative little devils waiting patiently for a chance to get away with something. Believe me you.

Final Note: Affiliate Marketing

I've brought this up numerous times, and I'm going to keep bringing it up. Do ya'll want to work piece-of-shit jobs for the rest of your lives or be able to quit your jobs and become full-time entrepreneurs in say 5 years?

If you chose the latter, then START TODAY. Approximately a year ago, I built my first ever website as an affiliate marketer. One year has passed and I am now making an average of $450 per month. . . from doing practically nothing, save for writing maybe 2 articles max per month. For the most part, the money just pours in on its own accord.

Look, if you want to succeed, you have to start grinding now, because the thing you gotta realize is that success takes time. Depending on how quickly you can learn new things and on your ability to work hard, you could quit your job anywhere potentially from within like 2 to 5 years. Personally, I'm looking to go full-time by 2015.

Remember that it takes a lot of hard work. The other day a friend of mine tried to get me to sign up for a program where you pay $125 for access to a website that sells travel packages. All the program is really offering is travel deals at wholesale prices. Granted, that has major money potential, but it takes more than just buying shit.

To actually be successful with a program like that, you would #1 have to build your own website. The "turnkey" websites people offer are bullshit. Real websites take a SHITLOAD of work. You have to write search engine optimized articles, market yourself on social networks (I'm weak on that one) and build quality backlinks. It's a very time-consuming bitch, but I know for a fact that the process works.

It's all choice. I spend quite a bit of my free time grinding on a new, upcoming website I'm preparing to launch. I get nothing for it. I'm targeting an even more competitive market, so it may be 6 months to a year b4 I see my first sale. But I keep doing it and grinding hard because I KNOW FOR A FACT that affiliate marketing works!

If affiliate marketing ain't for you, cool! Find something else and get to work. This doesn't mean you have to give up your dreams. But you do need to have a backup plan in case your dreams don't peg out. And yeah, I know it's a LOT of work. . . working a regular job, setting up a backup plan AND pursuing your dreams as the first actually fly Indian rapper (ain't no other Indian on the planet who as hood as me, best believe). Oh wait. . . that's my dream. Regardless, stay on the grind.

#WORKHARD

n

#GETMONEY



1

Signed,
Socialist When Emo
Capitalist When Confident

PS -- Daps @ Nikki Nikole. But why isn't your named spelled Nicky Nicole? I literally have to look your name up every single time I want to mention you. Change your name, damnit, lol ;-).

Disparity

A genuine rant coming up. Won't be pretty. Won't be me at my finest. It is what it is.

--

Just tuning in real quick to say I did not score. I figured I wouldn't, so it's okay. If nothing else, I got fodder for my perverted day-dreams, lol. J/K. I don't think about sex all the time like that. But yeah, I will be thinking a bit about this chick for a few days. She had that ILL NA-NA!

Neway. Hope everybody had a pleasant Thanksgiving. I had a shitload of turkey, stuffing WITH onions, mashed potatoes, CRANBERRY SAUCE, pumpkin pie, sweet potato pie, but no vagina pie :-(. Daps though at the cook for some INCREDIBLE food. Very impressive.

Moving on.

You know what annoys me? Example. Soulja Boy throws together some clothing designs and hires somebody to build him a shitty website. He advertises it on his Facebook and hundreds of thousands of young-buck fools go out and buy his stuff, resulting in profits of over $100,000 within a day.

Once you are famous, that's how fucking easy it is to make money. Every time Lil Wayne posts on Facebook, for instance, you wouldn't believe how quickly people reply. Thousands reply within seconds. It's unreal. By the way, check out his PrePaid Debit Card.... sponsored fully by Discover.

That's how easy it is. They don't have to do anything. They do their rap thing (or acting thing, or singing thing, or dancing thing, or skeeting on a video thing), which is great, but it's no different than fucking writing. And then they reap rewards for the rest of their lives.

Am I hating? NO. I enjoy both of the above. It's fine. I'm just pointing out capitalism for you.

Only 1 thing is needed --> fame. Once you get that, everything else just comes. Every dream you ever had just is handed to you in a silver platter. The hard part though is getting that fame. There are people who spend all their lives trying. But because of some reason (a quirk, a discrepancy, bad luck), they never get it.

It's bullshit.

I suppose it irritates me that so many people work so hard for so little, when others work so little for so much. But fuck it. That's capitalism. And you wonder why people protest? Why people are "jealous"? And you think you'll win? Everyday more kids grow up seeing the drug dealers / bangers / musicians / artists / cartels / PIMPS around them baking in cash. I've seen it all. I personally know a pimp who drives a BMW. I've witnessed him beating his bitches. Yet he living, baby, courtesy of capitalism.

Don't be mad. You created it. It's your cherished prize. It's the system you so desire, you Capitalist Pig (middle finger @ Joe Scarborough for his "Karl Marx" remarks).

Hater? Me? Oh, never. I thrive on capitalism's fruits, including the TV shows and music. I just don't fucking pay for it because I know how to hustle. And I don't feel bad about that fact.

I don't really feel bad about anything anymore. Why should I? Why should anyone? This is a "GET MONEY" society, ladies and gentlemen. Those of you who are older don't necessarily see it yet, because it's hidden in the deepest folds of the youth's greedy belly. Plus, the growth is still rather benign. It will be a few more decades before it because readily apparent what type of society is being produced. Money over everything. Dollar, dollar bills, ya'll.

Am I a hater? No. I just say what's on my mind. Do I have anything against Soulja Boy? Absolutely not. Kid Rock? Sorry, but yeah... HE IS NOT A REAL RAPPER! And it ain't because he's white, because Yela Wolf is white and he raps real.

My point? I love capitalism's benefits. Yet I feel great angst when I think of its repercussions. What scares me the most though is our general ignorance at how dangerous capitalism is slowly becoming. Our kids are relatively stupid when compared to those from India and China. We have great clothes, awesome music and swagger galore (all of which I appreciate), but everything must be pursued in moderation. Do our kids know this? Do we know this? Did that lady who pepper-sprayed those in line at the Black Friday sale know this?

Hatorade? I prefer Gatorade. Actually, I like water best. But I also like truth, and I feel I am right in noting the great disparity that exists. Anyway. I am lucky. I am educated enough that I stand a chance of getting through the hell that awaits us. But my soul cries for the growing number of those without the skills and knowledge required to sustain themselves through the Depression that awaits us if we don't get our act together soon.... and I mean really soon.

pEaCe n 1

Ghandis Disciple (aka drunk autistic idiot)

Gucci Gucci (Kreayshawn) | Happy Thanksgiving!

Okay. So let me do a quick Thanksgiving post. This will be composed of a lot of satirical, not-to-be-taken-seriously stuff. If you see a star, it is merely a reminder of what I just said. Some of it may be serious.

#1. I’m thankful for my stupid, annoying and stubborn-as-hell dog. I hate her at times, but she is in essence my best friend, though I certainly am not the same to her slutty, wanna-lick-everybody’s-hand ass.

#2. I’m thankful to live in a residence where I can drink, light up and live, though it is with a conservative who intimidates the hell out of me and weighs more than me but looks leaner and more muscular than me even though he never works out!

#3. I’m thankful to have a gig that keeps my bills paid and my fridge full, though it offers no paid vacations, is coming to an end within a month or two and entails sometimes writing about some of the most boring crap on Earth.

#4. I’m thankful that I have legs to run with, hands to type with and a mind to think with, though my legs are so weak they cannot squat 250, my hands are so weak I have to use two of them to masturbate and my mind is so whacked out that I literally act like the people on TV can see and hear me when I watch a live program.

#5. I’m thankful my two loving parents are still alive, well and always ready to help me through rough spells, though the $450,000 in insurance money I would earn if they died would be a whole lot more helpful to me at the moment. *

#6. I’m thankful that I know and appreciate the value of personality, inner beauty and substance over material things and external facades, though it’s a shame I’m so unbelievably repelled by fat, ugly women — especially the ones with mustaches.

#7. I’m thankful as hell I’m smart enough to pirate any and all corporate goods I desire, including pictures, games, software, movies, TV shows and BEAVIS N BUTTHEAD (up yours MTV), though pirating TV shows cuts into my favorite shows’ ratings, and thus only helps them get cancelled.

#8. I’m thankful to find happiness during the weekdays by paying attention to politics and getting paid to write tech-related articles, though I would much rather get paid to pay attention to and write about one of my true loves, politics.

#9. I’m thankful as hell that I am alive and liked by many, but I would trade every single thing I have for the chance to be loved by the woman of my dreams, whomever she may be, for living this life without a woman by my side really sucks.

#10. I’m thankful as hell to live in a beautiful, great country wherein any man or woman of any race, creed or ethnicity can rise up and achieve the American dream, though prejudices still run strong and America isn’t even slightly ready to embrace an Asian, Muslim or homosexual president.

Have a great Thanksgiving, everybody.

And oh, check out Kreayshawn. Yes, she is a white rapper, but she, much like Carter Johnson (fast forward to 1:05), isn’t afraid to be herself, and I respect the flying f**k out of that! And if you don’t, then eat me!

WARNING: I taste horrible!

"Make" Love Serenade (Barry White) | For A Special White Woman

*In the deep voice of Barry White*

Greetings, ladies and gentlemen.
Tonight, I want to send out a special message to a lady named Rachel Maddow.

Tell ‘em off,
Baby, tell ‘em Republicans off!
I wanna see you give them the bird,
I don’t wanna hear no crying (BOEHNER!),
I don’t wanna see no bullshit!
So tell ‘em why we up in here, my dear,
Every Democrat finnin’
I’m talking taking the tape off our mouths,
Because baby, you got us ready,
This day…
We’re gon’ talk smack about conservatives,
To the “Make” Love to a GOP Congressman in his soggy butthole serenade!

Ok… that was beyond friggen whack. But hey… I’m a writer, not a friggen poet. OKAY!?

//

On a more serious note, I wasn’t watching the Maddow show 2nite, but I ran into a status update in which she mentioned this site: GetGlue. At first, I figured it’s like a store for nasty kids who need glue to eat. But soon I discovered that it is in fact a social networking site that revolves around television shows . . .

Ladies and gentlemen, I verily testify to you that today I have seen the coming of the glory of the lord!

(Imagine a cartoon picture of Jesus holding up a mini TV to the sky… to God <-- I am also not an artist)

Thank you Miss Maddow for introducing this site to me. I’m still wary of it, and it will take me time to adjust (I could barely enjoy Prime Suspect tonight because I kept thinking about how people were receiving me), but I have a feeling I’m going to come to LOVE IT! Owe you one, Lil Mama!

//

Anyway. I don’t have much else to say, so I’m copying and pasting a blog post I wrote earlier this week. My contention is not that all conservatives are bad. I only wish to point out the hypocrisy of those conservatives who accuse liberals of intolerance. That’s some straight-up nonsense.

---------------------

Principles Of 21st-Century Conservatism: Intolerance, Bigotry And Outright Ignorance

Liberal Americans represent the last bastions of intolerance and bigotry in modern, 21-century America, or so conservatives frequently tout. Yet, conservatives continually prove otherwise -- that they themselves are the true harbingers of ignorance in America.

Take for instance the recent scandal surrounding Herman Cain. The right-leaning news organization Politico uncovered evidence suggesting that Cain sexually harassed two colleagues back in the '80s. Conservative mouthpiece and all-around congenial personality Ann Coulter refuted the allegations by claiming they were part of a "high-tech lynching" being orchestrated by Democrats who are "terrified of strong, conservative black men." She went on to state that "our [conservative] blacks are so much better than their [liberal] blacks," as if Herman Cain and other black notables in the conservative party are merely pieces of property.

Meanwhile, the most sensitive man on the planet, Rush Limbaugh, decried the "hit job" on Herman Cain, arguing that it was an "unconscionable, racially stereotypical attack," though the only ones to have mentioned race thus far were the brilliant conservative minds attempting to defend Martin Luther Herman Cain, Jr. Scout the 3rd. And oh, Rush asked the following thought-provoking question: "What's next, folks? A cartoon on MSNBC showing Herman Cain with huge lips eating a watermelon?"

The irony is that both Coulter and Limbaugh thrive on waging "racially stereotypical attack(s)" on anyone whom they dislike. For instance, after Halle Berry became the first African-American to win the Academy Award for Best Actress in 2002, Coulter proceeded to mock the momentous occasion with what else than a "racially stereotypical attack":

"Large-breasted, slightly cocoa women with idealized Caucasian features finally have a chance in Hollywood! They will, however, still be required to display their large breasts for the camera and to discuss their large breasts at some length with reporters."

As for Limbaugh, the French phrase 'faux pas' practically defines his very existence, as he revels in claiming that most criminals look like Jesse Jackson; stating that Obama would be a "tour guide" if he "weren't black": mocking public figures like Chinese president Hu Jintao; arguing that black people are irrelevant because they represent only 12 percent of the population; and accussing President Obama of promoting an economic program based entirely on "reparations."

Am I insinuating that all conservatives harbor racist and intolerant sentiment merely because two of their own kind do? Certainly not. However, a quick analysis of recent news stories clearly reveals a scary trend toward bigotry that fits perfectly alongside the rhetoric of both Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh:

• Herman Cain himself has an extensive track record for making outrageous statements. This past year alone, he said "African Americans" are "brainwashed" complainers, and that Muslim citizens must "prove their loyalty to the U.S. Constitution."
  
  
• Texas gun safety instructor Crockett Keller banned "socialist liberal[s]" who voted for Obama and those American citizens who practice Islam from participating in his class on the basis that neither are "true American[s]."
  
  
• A month ago, Boward County, Florida resident Nezar Hamze sought membership in the Broward Republican Executive Committee, only to be publicly taunted with chants of "terrorist" and "you're in Al-Qaeda." His application was denied.
  
  
• The "terrorist watchdog group" Americans Against Hate attempted to remove Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN) from the Congressional Task Force on Anti-Semitism because he purportedly has "associations" with groups that are "connected" to terrorism. Plus, allowing him to remain would apparently be an "offense to those who [have] fell victim to anti-Semitism."
  
  
• The founder of Americans Against Hate, Joe Kaufman, argued on Fox & Friends that the decision by Six Flags to host a Muslim Family Day on September 12 was "insensitive." Furthermore, he claimed the Muslim group that organized the event was involved with the 9/11 terrorist attacks.
  
  
• Tea Party members in Orange County crowded around Muslims preparing to attend a fundraising dinner and chanted "go home," "no Sharia law" and "Muhammad is a pervert." One of the protesters later said, "I know quite a few Marines who would be very happy to help these terrorists to an early meeting in paradise." Included among the Muslims were little children.
  
  
• Back in February, Montana GOP Rep. Kristen Hansen introduced HB516, a bill that would have repealed all statewide ordinances that protect LBGT citizens from discrimination. The bill thankfully failed to pass, but during During a House Judiciary Commitee hearing, the Republican majority purposefully limited opponents from speaking, though they had no qualms with allowing Pastor Harris Himes argue that homosexuality is a "sin worthy of death."
  
  
• After Dr. Mila Means stepped up as a potential abortion doctor for Wichita, Kansas -- which lacks an abortion doctor because the previous one, Dr. George R. Tiller, was murdered in 2009 -- anti-abortion conservative extremists began sending her death threats, publicizing her personal history and showing up at her home and business. Former Kansas Attorney General Phill Kline responded by ignoring the harassment and instead launching what what many described as an "inquisition" against her.
  
  
• The Director of Issues Analysis for the American Family Association (AFA), Bryan Fischer, has repeatedly accused homosexuals of having "as many as 300 to 1,000 sexual partners over the course of a lifetime." He also believes that devout Muslims are a threat to national security, that Muslims should be banned from the military and that homosexuality caused the rise of Adolph Hitler.
  
  
• Hardcore conservative Pat Buchanan wrote in his latest book, Suicide of a Superpower: Will America Survive to 2025?, that multiculturalism, or the acceptance and promotion of multiple cultures, amounts to "an across-the-board assault" on the "Anglo-American heritage" that, if left unchecked, will lead to America's demise. His reasoning included the assertion that immigrants lack "the academic or professional skills of European-Americans" and will therefore "suck the government dry."
  

Need I go on? I can if you would like. In fact, let me include one final story right out of today's headlines. While speaking to volunteers in Brockton, Massachusetts yesterday evening, consumer advocate Elizabeth Warren came under fire from an unemployed Tea Party supporter who accused the president of being a "foreign-born" national and then called Miss Warren a "socialist whore." Charming.

You know, conservatives pride themselves on their "open-mindedness," and yet, their actions have and continue to prove otherwise, for who is it that jumps on the backs of minority groups seeking rights? Who is it that blames the victims while letting the perpetrators run free? And who is it that espouses views that are wholly anathema to every fiber of true tolerance? More often than not, it is the conservative.

But, to associate all conservatives with such ignorance would be ignorant and hypocritical itself. Thus, I assert this and only this -- that some conservatives practice intolerance and bigotry, and that these conservatives, if left unchecked, could potentially destroy this nation, as a country whose people so heavily invest in intolerance, bigotry and ignorance will never find true success in the modern age.

Sexy And I Know It (LMFAO)

SECURITY ALERT

SECURITY ALERT

… sexiness has entered the building … ALL GUARDS ON DECK!

//

Good Evening!

Malfeasance

First and foremost, I would like to apologize for my irreverent behavior last weekend, though blame for my malfeasance rests solely on the staff at K97.5, as they opted to cancel their weekly 919 Radio show, thus leading me to have a moment.

Let me explain. You know how they say Jesus comes in to your room and gives you all your medication every night? That’s false. What really happens is that Jesus comes in your room and plays 919 Radio. So yeah, shame on you @K97.5 for going against the wishes of Jesus and therefore causing me to miss my fix! Heathens . . .

Amateur Blogging

Last Thursday I started a left-leaning political blog that covers twisted GOP actions like voter suppression, and ever since, I have been extremely busy trying to keep up with the 24/7 news cycle. It’s a bitch to do, but I’m really enjoying it. In fact, the prospect of blogging professionally really interests me.

Anyway. The key to blogging lies in choosing a topic that genuinely interests you. This, in fact, comes before profit. I could make a lot more money blogging about cell phones or whatever, but these topics bore the hell out of me. Politics, on the other hand, I find absolutely riveting.

One thing I’ve come to realize is that a blogger can’t cover everything. I imagined myself covering all political viewpoints, from those that support my liberal beliefs to those that enhance the conservative position that Obama might be bought out by Wall Street, but to write about everything would be impossible. Thus, I have narrowed my blog to a niche: left-leaning politics. Sometimes I venture a bit beyond my niche, but for the most part, my blog courts a rather liberal perspective.

Another thing I’ve realized is that it takes time to acquire fans. My fan base is limited to one or two ardent followers (my Dad, who literally broke into tears when he first discovered my site, and maybe Al Sharpton). I was about to give up, until another blogger told me to acquire patience, as it took him an entire year to develop a loyal fan base. It’s actually the biggest bitch of all, because it bugs me when I spend hours writing about gun law reciprocity, only to have barely anybody read it.

I’m Up Out

I’m considering moving out the state. I absolutely hate my current residence. I would talk about it in detail, but I can’t. As schizophrenic as this sounds, I feel like everything I do is being watched—as if my every move is being monitored. It’s the direct result of such endless close proximity to another human being. I suppose I’m one of those people who need a certain degree of space to function well.

So “how the hell do you plan to deal with marriage one day?” you ask. I don’t know. But I do know that I am willing to try much harder for a woman than I am for dudes with balls. To hell with that. Suffice it to say, when I miss Miss Right, I’ll do everything in my power to upgrade myself. Until then, I would rather just keep escaping to better, more relaxed environments.

But I cannot find another home, and I am getting sick of looking. A family member long ago offered to purchase me my own residence in his very progressive hometown. I refused and am still very resilient to the prospect, as his part of the country hosts practically no minorities, save for annoying-ass hipsters (FYI: I am not a f**king hipster. I’ve been to juvy, jail, prison and the pen; I’m the real thing || FYI: If that did not make you laugh, then you truly have no soul!), but I am growing extremely desperate.

That said, a move might perhaps be part of the near future for me. I will miss Raleigh and especially K97.5, but I desire happiness, and jumping from lousy home to uncomfortable home and whatnot does not constitute happiness.

1

Signed,
Loudmouth Liberal

Moving

Check me out at my new blog: Loudmouth Liberals!

Neurotypical Bitches

Are there any investors out there? I have a million-dollar idea for you, and all I ask is that you send me a fat paycheck if the idea ever proves to be successful.

In particular, I need someone to construct a high-quality dating site strictly for those individuals who suffer from Asperger Syndrome. The one and only site that caters to Aspies, www.aspieaffection.com, is fraught with problems—a ridiculously slow server, disgustingly pathetic graphics, piss-poor functionality and limited social connectivity, to name a few. Ideally, I would like to see an OkCupid- or PlentyOfFish-grade dating site that would allow Aspies the chance to find love among their own kind.

Where did this desire come from? Well, flag me if you would like, but my friend Saurabh and I are sick and tired of normal bitches. Yes, I said it. We are not friends per se, nor are we family, but we went to HS together, and we both suffer from Asperger Syndrome. And as he said so eloquently earlier today courtesy of Facebook, “neuro-typical” women are extremely annoying:

“
when I am feeling something for someone...
it is sincere... but I tend to be honest...
and come out with exactly how I'm feeling and when I am feeling it...
neurotypicals get scared off by that.
You have to kind of release it in spurts...
like an old hose... with many kinks in it.
Very very hard for me to do.

Neurotypicals bore me...
most of them anyhow...
they are so mechanistic.
You can't be sincere with them...
you have to... be painstakingly slow...
and overly cautious...
like walking on a bed of nails.
”

The irony is that these “neuro-typicals,” as he likes to call them, think we are the slow ones. Perhaps we are slow in regard to face-to-face conversation, but when it comes to expressing emotions of intimacy, we are the like Louis from “Revenge of the Nerds,” as is evident by the following paraphrased quote:

“Lewis: 'Cause all Jocks ever think about is sports [hanging out watching football, watching the latest episode of Community and hosting orgies at the ultra-ultra groovy Frat House, bro], all we ever think about is sex [expanding our mind with intellectual stimulation, exploring the delicate emotions that surface courtesy of life’s most simple pleasures and making sweet emotional, physical and spiritual love to the woman of our dreams].”

So there has to be at least one team of programmers and graphic designers in Raleigh with the ability to create such a website. I cannot guarantee any profit, especially if you have no skills in web marketing, but I know for a fact that there is potential in such an idea.

Anyway.

I’m up out.

1

PS @ Programmers/Designers: Another idea is to create a Craigslist-like chat site with a chatroom for EVERY city in the United States of America.

PS @ Technicians: Need to learn how to use Android but can’t afford an Android phone? Download Android SDK.

And oh... I hope everybody who is able to make it to the Fair this weekend has a great time!

Steady Mobbin’ (Lil Wayne) | I Am The 99 Percent

Political Fanaticism: An Experiment In Madness

I am a politics nerd, and I am not ashamed to admit it. Everybody should be as obsessed with politics as I am, if you ask me, because every bill that is passed or vetoed affects each and every one of us, whether we realize it or not.

What I am not, however, is a fanatic. I diligently try to consider all viewpoints, even when they seem outright wrong. Lately, though, this has become extremely hard to do because the messages have become extremely fanatical.

For instance, just earlier today, radio host Neal Boortz appeared on the Sean Hannity show and claimed that President Barack Obama has been a bigger disaster to this country than 9/11. Need I remind you that 9/11 resulted in the demise of almost 3,000 Americans? You know what is even more shocking? The audience clapped at Boortz’s statement—just like they clapped at the idea of a man without insurance dying.

Meanwhile, Ann Coulter compared the Wall Street protesters to Nazis, Hank Williams Jr. equated President Obama with Hitler, Herman Cain claimed that all black people who vote for democrats are brainwashed, Andrew Breitbart spoke publicly about killing liberals, conservative bloggers ripped into the writers of a Muslim superheroes comic book for promoting the "Islamification of America,” the board chair of the National Organization of Marriage said gay marriage is “evil” and the vice president of the NRA alleged that Obama is after the 2nd amendment—though Obama has in fact done nothing to tighten firearm restrictions.

Such extremism is enough to drive a man mad. I imagine, in fact, that the Reverend Al Sharpton would have lost his mind if this had occurred during his youth—a time when he was quick to counter such extremism with even more extremism. As an older and much wiser man, however, he now realizes that fighting fire with poison is both unwise and foolish. I wish I felt the same, but I am still a young-buck with a lot of fire in my heart. And every time I hear bullshit being touted as truth, it infuriates the heck out of me—so much so that I get a bit loopy.

For example, I believe that a time will come when every American will have to make a choice and decide which side they support: the one that believes promoting civil liberties for everybody, welcoming those who are different with open arms, nourishing those who cannot afford food, educating the ignorant so they can rise up and succeed, helping the downtrodden learn to love themselves, healing all who are afflicted with a mental or physical condition, forgiving those who have sinned and loving one another all come before the acquirement of money—and the one that literally covets wealth over any and all things, including some of its own religious convictions.

The President would probably argue that I am being negative and counter-productive, but I disagree. I honestly do not think our problems can be rectified through mere negotiation. All it has done is use up valuable time. The only thing that can rectify this mess is the division of the United States into two separate entities: blue America and red America. It would allow each side to run things their way. And the only way to bring about this division is if each and every one of us purchases a gun, finds someone with whom we disagree, shoots him or her in the head and then repeats the previous steps until the government finally has enough and caves to our demands.

Now look, you might have concluded by now that I am being rather hyperbolic, but what if I am? Do I not also have the right, like those I previously mentioned, to go off the deep end and lay the demagogic smack down, even if everything I say may or may not be total bullshit—and even if I may in the process completely confuse and perhaps even frighten those who are ignorant of what is really occurring around us? So if I possess this right, why should I not go ahead and just blabber out whatever badly organized, foolish dribble is circulating in my demented mind?

Because fanaticism solves absolutely nothing—this is why. All it does is dilute the truth with bullshit. And the thing about bullshit, and any shit for that matter, is that it stinks. The real truth is you and I as Americans can either choose to engage in fanaticism, which could potentially one day really lead to a violent confrontation, or you and I as rational Americans can opt to cast aside the bullshit prejudices we have about one another and sit down at a table for a peaceful, meaningful negotiation on how the hell we can come to terms with our differences . . .

I await your decision.

Signed,

Young Money Democrat (#YMCMB)

PS @ Lil Wayne: I do it because I believe strongly in my convictions.

Jobs & Innovation

When I heard about Steve Jobs’ death, I was initially overcome with a sense of jealousy. This was due in part to the super-duper coverage regarding his passing. This was also due to the fact that I am a die-hard Windows fan (Macs are for noobs!). Now, jokes aside, I obviously have a deep-found respect for the man and his achievements, and I am certainly sad as per his far-too-early demise, but the jealousy that overcame me did at least inspire some introspection.

What makes Jobs so unique is that he brought forth completely new ideas and products. And frankly, I want to do the same thing. One reason I lack passion is because everything I do or could possibly do has already been done. I started writing satire, but The Onion and Comedy Central already have that department covered. I got into e-cigarette affiliate marketing, but 100s of other people are already doing it. Then I got into survival food affiliate marketing, only to discover 1000s of other people are already doing it. I have thought about creating a politics blog or Facebook group, but again, 1000s of people are already doing it.

One problem I have with capitalism is that it promotes redundancy. The fact that 100s and 1000s of companies compete to sell practically the exact same products irks the hell out of me. I do not want to be 1 of 100, 1000, 10,000 or 100,000. I want to be unique, innovative and somebody great. And greatness cannot be achieved through boring-as-hell redundancy. It has to come from out-of-this-world innovation—the kind of innovation Steve Jobs brought to this world.

Sighs. I’m just so sick of doing things that everybody else has already done. I want to do something completely new—something that has never been done. Seriously, how can a man or woman find any passion doing something others are also doing? It seems so pointless. So very very pointless.

Drugs

Many people, including Trey Parker and Matt Stone, have a very bad image of pharmaceutical medications. While I am aware that the pharmaceutical industry has an agenda that revolves strictly around profits, I believe that the drugs themselves are not innately bad. Case in point: Earlier this week, my very kind state-sponsored psychiatrist upped my Paroxetine dose by 10mg. Only a few days have passed, and yet I can already tell a subtle difference, in that I feel slightly less anxious. I’m also a bit more talkative and relaxed. The point is that medicines can work.

Speaking of medications, the medication I really wish I were on is Adderall. The state does not cover it, but if I were on it, I bet I would be a new person. I pass ADD tests because it’s easy to focus when under pressure, but I know for a fact I have ADD to the extreme. I know this in part because my dog has become just like me. This heffer has no sense of focus, lol.

Redistribution of Wealth

Personally, I believe in the redistribution of wealth. Why do Will and Jada Smith need a $7.5M ranch? Have they become so fat from years of gluttonous eating that they absolutely need an 8800 Sq. Ft. home to sustain themselves?

I chose them so as to not immediately alienate conservatives. I believe everybody should have the opportunity to live in his or her own home. My brother makes a lot of money, but he likes to live with a lot of people. That is his decision, and I respect it. But many of us want to be alone, and I think we deserve that right. It will never come to fruition, however, in a world where people are so overpaid:

CEOs like Donald Trump
Actors like Will and Jada Smith
Politicians like John Boehner, Harry Reid and Eric Cantor
Radio hosts like Rush Limbaugh and Michael Baisden (sorry, Mike, but I am trying to make a point)
Etc…

It is one thing to be successful and live a moderate life with a few luxuries here and there, while it is another thing altogether to use all the extraneous funds to fund a ridiculously extravagant lifestyle. That money could be put to much better use if it were redistributed to where it is really needed.

Yes, I am kind of a socialist. And no, I am not moving to China, because I am also kind of a capitalist as well. I think we need a fusion of socialism and capitalism to fix our dilemma. I am tired of all of the ridiculously high, as well as ridiculously low, salaries out there. Success is one thing—but gluttony, whether via food or wealth, is another thing altogether.

Voice

I wasn’t going to write anything today, but then I noticed Al Sharpton dancing the “James Brown” on the Jimmy Fallon Show. I decided to look for a clip of it to post on my page and link to Politics Nation. While doing that, I discovered a video of him that showed him back in the day dressing like a young hiphop aficionado and fighting the fight. And it shocked me, and it also inspired me.

Lately, I’ve felt like giving up on trying to change the world. On every corner of every street of every city of every state of every country is bigotry, hatred and intolerance. It is all around us, and I am fed up with it. But woe is me; what am I to do? Likely nothing but write a bunch of inflamed Facebook rhetoric. Thus far, that is.

I suffer from a debilitating condition that keeps me in a terrorized state of anxiety. I feel great this weekend because my roomie has left for a vacation. He is nice, but when he is around, I am as shy and nervous as a scaredy cat. I can’t help it, and I will likely die this way. But let it be known that every morning I wake up, I hope for just a second that maybe… just maybe this will be the day I find myself without anxiety and fear—totally free to finally be me.

And I greatly urge those who dabble in hatred to pray day and night that this never happens—that I never find my voice. Because I promise that the day I find it, I will begin a journey, much like Mr. Sharpton’s, to bring justice and righteousness to every corner of every street of every city of every state of every country in this world of ours. And I will start at home, here in the United States of America.

Because I am sick and tired of the hatred. And I am sick and tired of the bigotry. And more than that, I am sick and tired of the lies, the excuses, and the bullshit. Something is seriously wrong with this world, and I hope that one day God or whomever, whatever gives me the power to wage a war against it, because I am sick… I am tired… and though I feel alone day in and out, I know deep inside that, in the grand scheme of things, I am anything but alone.

9/11 Through The Eyes Of An Aspie: A Lesson In Empathy

10 years ago, two hijacked planes flew into the World Trade Center, one crashed into the Pentagon and one smashed into a field in Pennsylvania. Combined, the four terrorist attacks resulted in over 6,500 injuries and 3,000 deaths. Despite such a tragic loss in life, I at the time did not give a flying hoot.

I was a rebellious, outcast and immature teenager who was so lost and disillusioned with life that, if anything, I envied those who died. I figured it was better to die after having lived what I perceived was a normal life than to be forced to keep living what I thought was a pitiful existence.

A decade has passed since that doleful event, and though I have grown by leaps and bounds, I still find great difficulty empathizing with those who suffered so grievously that day. It is not that I am without sympathy or empathy; it is that as a man with Asperger Syndrome, connecting with others is and always has been a difficulty.

The irony is that I cry inside when I read an article about an individual who died as per a homicide or an accident. Looking at the person's face and envisioning all he or she brought to this world makes me very sad. But when I think about 9/11, all I see are lifeless statistics.

That, however, is not the case when I stare at pictures of 9/11 victims falling to their death. Just the idea that men and women would voluntarily jump to their deaths astounds me. And more than that, it brings their individuality to life.

It makes me wonder how I would react to knowing that I was about to die, to knowing that my life was about to be permanently extinguished? The very thought fills me with absolute horror. It is like the fear I experience when riding my bike on a road without sidewalks, except 1000 times worse.

Admittedly, the empathy I feel inside from looking at these pictures is lacking in comparison to the empathy it likely stirs in the average man or woman. But still, it gives me at least something -- a tether, if you will -- by which to comprehend what occurred.

These are very painful pictures to behold, but I believe that embracing this sensation of pain is the first step to discovering the meaning of empathy. It is one thing to empathize with a TV show character or someone on the news, but it is another thing altogether to empathize with millions and millions of people . . .

Thousands who died on 9/11.

Tens and thousands who are related to those who died on 9/11.

Hundreds of thousands who knew somebody who passed on 9/11.

And millions upon millions whose innocence was forever blemished on 9/11.

I do not know how to connect with these people, but I hope that one day I find a way.

R.I.P. ; God Bless America

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PS - I will be watching "Reign On Me" tomorrow night. I hope I am not the only one.

This Place About To Blow (Kesha) | Hurricane Edition

Evening, folks. First and foremost, I want to send my thoughts out to all the people who own property near the coastlines. I hope and pray that your properties are unaffected by Hurricane Irene. Regardless, the most important thing is that ya’ll get out of there alive.

And I don’t expect the hurricane to affect Raleigh too badly… but still, I hope everybody is prepared and ready for one helluva weekend!

Let’s go…!

Drunk, Moody Roomie To Other Roomie: “I’m Going To Crush Your Head.”

Boston, MA—Late Friday evening, 34-year-old engineer Mark Coolidge came home from work and, after drinking a few beers and catching up on the news, informed his roomie, 26-year-old freelancer Jack Patch, that he was going to crush his head.



“First he pulled me outside to discuss how we could somehow magically solve all of the world’s problems, and then when I mentioned that maybe we should start by raising taxes on the rich, he suddenly went all ballistic on me by telling me that he was going to crush my head,” Jack told reporters, still visibly shaken from the previous night’s unexpected events.

“The crazy thing about it all was that he showed no emotion. I would have figured he was doing a deadpan comedy bit if I didn’t already know that he has no sense of humor whatsoever.”

When questioned by police about the incident, all Mark had to say was, “I am crushing your head!”

Moral of the story: It’s a long story involving my very-funny roomie, too much beer, and Warren the “cock” Buffett, lol.

Moral of the story #2: Big ups to ‘Kids In The Hall’ (88-94).

Pet Owner Shares Pizza With Dog In Honor Of MLK’s Legacy

Boston, MA—Longtime Dorchester resident Charlie Jones, 25, has decided to share half of his hand-tossed Papa Johns pizza with his 2-year-old German Shepherd, Keanan, in celebration of the unveiling of the Martin Luther King, Jr. National Memorial in Washington, DC.



“I think it’s important that I take a moment to pay tribute to MLK’s heroic struggle for civil rights by letting Keanan, who in the past has been forced to chow down on really cheap dog gruel from a metal bowl, sit by my side at the table of brotherhood and partake in this totally delicious pepperoni and green pepper pizza.”

He added, “Come tomorrow, however, the BOY goes back to eating his gruel!”

Moral of the story: Civil rights obviously don’t apply to stinkin’ dogs, but there was once a time in America when minorities, particularly blacks, were looked upon as dogs. And well, I think it’s important that we don’t forget that. Nor should we forget all the hard work and dedication it has taken to get us this far.

Moral of the story #2: Salute @ Martin Luther King, Jr. R.I.P.

Big-Breasted Woman Sick Of Men’s Inability To See Beyond Her Tits

Memphis, TN—A big-breasted, 27-year-old woman from East Memphis has decided to take a stand against all the men who refuse to see beyond her triple F titties and accept her as a unique human being with a unique mindset.



“You know, just because the majority of my body weight is composed of ‘titular’ mass does not mean that I am just some big, giant boob!” the anonymous woman told a band of male reporters who had purposefully been blinded beforehand to assure they maintain the rigorous standards of quality journalism.

She continued, “I am a human being with a big heart and a huge brain, damnit!”

In Related News: Big-Breasted Woman To Get More Breast Implants

Moral of the story: Shuttttttttttttt upppppppppppppppppppppp!

Muammar Gaddafi Loses Chess Game For Libya

Tripoli, Libya—After 42 years of waging ruthless pawn-on-pawn and queen-on-pawn attacks on both his people and the rest of the world, the internationally famous Bobby Fischer wannabe, Michael Jackson lookalike, and all-time supreme dickhead / despot Muammer Gaddafi has finally lost the chess game for Libya.



“It all started back in 1969 when Gaddafi led a small band of disgruntled military pawns in a move to checkmate King Idris,” NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams told reporters. “But after winning the game, instead of sticking to the rules set forth by his predecessor, Gaddafi decided to adopt completely new rules based on his own twisted gaming philosophy.”

“He restricted the moves pawns he didn’t like could make; replaced all his rooks, bishops, and knights with bodyguard queens; and began interfering with other country’s chess games.”

According to Williams, by the 1980s, Gaddafi was kidnapping, maiming, and killing pawns from other countries, as well as training his own pawns to set off bombs on other countries’ chessboards. And then in 1988, Gaddafi purportedly orchestrated the Lockerbie bombing, during which his most loyal pawns set off a bomb that killed 270 pawns from 21 different countries.

“Gaddafi continued perpetrating evil acts for a little over two more decades until just this past spring, when some of his pawns finally acquired the courage and momentum to mount an attack against him,” Williams continued. “Most of the world expected the rebel pawns to loose, but after months of braving it out throughout the dangerous landscape of Libya’s chessboard, they have finally prevailed.”

He added, “It just goes to show that nobody can cheat the game of chess—NOBODY.”

Moral of the story: We don’t make the rules, but we do enforce them. That said, CHECKMATE, BITCH!

Young Man Only One Ear Hair Away From Retiring

Raleigh, NC—Despite eating healthy, exercising daily, and maintaining a relatively low-stress lifestyle, 30-year-old Triangle native Chip Sanders already suffers from numerous old man symptoms, including but not limited to shrunken balls, jiggling man boobs, glaring bald spots, and whisker-like nose hairs. According to his doctor, Sanjay Sandhu, he is in fact just one ear hair away from being ready to retire and move to Florida.



“I’m 58 years old, and even I don’t suffer from as many symptoms of old age as Chip does,” Doctor Sandhu told reporters as he shook his head, which for the record was covered in a full set of gleaming black hair. “It’s like he’s physically aging faster than everybody else, though judging from his income statement, his Social Security benefits are about four decades behind his balls.”

Chip’s descent into dirty old manhood began four years ago when, slightly after his 25th birthday, Chip noticed a thinning patch of hair in the middle of his scalp. At the time, he figured that his barber had merely made a mistake, but as the year progressed and the patch grew larger, it slowly dawned on Chip that he was going bald.

“It pissed me off then and it still pisses me off now because I’m way too young to be suffering this sort of bullshit,” Chip complained to reporters while trying fervently to fill in his bald spots with a Sharpie permanent marker. “Hell, my friggen pubes haven’t even finished growing yet, and I swear there are like a shitload of 15-year-old boys out there who have thicker chest hair than I have hair on the top of my head.”

Unfortunately, things only got worse for Chip. By 2007, he began experiencing great difficulty keeping his penis fully erect while making love to his wife. A year later, the situation grew so dire that he sought out the counsel of a local $5/hour Gypsy therapist.

“I couldn’t afford seeing a regular doctor or paying for Viagra at the time, so I made an appointment with this holistic dude who claimed he could fix my problem,” Chip explained. “The guy had me pumping up my penis like a tire, wrapping it up tight in cock rings, and popping Ginkgo Biloba pills like they were skittles, but none of it worked!”

The situation was eventually rectified in early 2010 courtesy of the Affordable Care Act, which allowed Chip access to subsidized Viagra prescriptions. But by then, the situation had only grown worse. While his penis was finally able to hold onto blood, it suddenly started to lose its ability to hold onto pee.

“I used to wake up, scratch myself, bang my wife, scratch myself again, take a shower, brush my teeth, feed the dog, eat breakfast, read the newspaper, check my stocks, smoke a cigarette and then take a pee, but that all changed in April 2010.”

According to Chip, he was making sweet love to his wife on the morning of April 12 when he suddenly got an overpowering urge to pee. The same thing happened three days in a row, prompting Chip to start taking a pee right after he woke up each morning. Two months later on June 17th, however, he suddenly woke up in the middle of the night with the same urge to pee. It was at that moment Chip realized he was becoming a dirty old bastard.

“I couldn’t believe it, man; I just couldn’t believe it,” Chip whined to reporters while staring icily at his crotch. “A little over two months ago, I was living it up, and then all of a sudden, I couldn’t sleep just 4 measly hours without having to take a friggen pee.”

He added, “It’s like what the hell is wrong with my dick, man!?”

Sadly, Chip’s situation has declined even further since 2010. His pectorals jiggle like breasts whenever he jogs, his shrunken balls droop so low that they sometimes accidentally get stuck up his ass, his hearing is so poor that he misses out on many of his wife’s verbal advances, and his testicles smell so bad that his dog purposefully avoids his presence.

The only thing keeping Chip sane during this tumultuous period of time is the fact that he has yet to sprout an ear hair.

“As soon as the first ear hair shows up, it’s a wrap, man,” Chip told reporters as he stood outside on his balcony, a golden ray of sunshine glaring off the top of his partially bald scalp. “I’m quitting my job, leaving my wife for a hot toddy half my age and moving to Florida!”

Moral of the story: It sucks to get old!

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I hope I made you smile or laugh.

Take care and stay safe, everybody!!!!!!!!!!

My City (Soulja Boy) | I like the beat, OKAY!?

Lol @ my post title.

Hey folks. I’ve been extremely busy the last few days because I’ve falling a bit behind on my bills and, well, a brotha needed to put in some work. That said, I’m throwing together some hastily written satires tonight. Nothing you read today will be that great. Thank you, however, for bearing with me! God willing, I will be back next week with a SLAM DUNK!

Rick Perry Unsure How Old His Wife Is, Despite Having Access To Wikipedia

New Hampshire—While speaking in Portsmouth late Thursday afternoon, Rick Perry admitted to his supporters that he has no clue how old his wife is, even though Wikipedia clearly states that that she was born on March 5, 1952.



“How old do I think the old ball and chain is?” Mr. Perry asked the crowd. “You know what? I have no freaking clue. I do know though from 29 years of living with her that she is pretty darn old. Unfortunately, I don’t think anybody—including even Jesus—knows just how old the ol’ bag is.”

Moral of the story: This piece can be interpreted in one of two ways, depending on whether you have more faith in Rick Perry or Wikipedia—both of which, truth be told, lack credibility.

Rush Limbaugh Almost Finds Racial Harmony In 'Biracial Cookie'

Palm Beach County, FL—Following years of straddling the line between being a total bigot and just an insensitive ass, conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh almost found racial harmony this past Wednesday courtesy of a “Triple Double Oreo” cookie that contains both chocolate and vanilla cream.



“I have been studying Obameo, as I like to call it, for three days now, and I swear I am very close to realizing that just because blacks and whites have different skin colors doesn’t mean one is superior or inferior to another,” Rush told reporters, his eyes still glued to the cookie.

Unfortunately, Limbaugh’s transcendence was cut short when, in a rage of hunger, he ate the ‘biracial’ cookie.

Moral of the story: Rush is like the real-life Archie Bunker, except that he’s not funny!

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PS #1. I’ve already started working on my slam dunk piece for next week. And it won’t include any politics because I’m frankly too partisan to write genuinely funny political satire.

PS #2. Please register and get ready to vote on October 11th for the 2011 Wake County school board elections. These elections are very important. You know, Mr. Chuck Campbell of the Chuck Campbell Show doesn’t want sodomy in Raleigh because he thinks it’s sick. Fair enough. Likewise, I don’t want segregation in my school system because I think IT’S sick!

PS #3. I know my previous comment probably pissed off 50% or so of the community, but I think I have the right to express my views.

PS #4. I don’t sit around planning a ‘liberal agenda.’ I just stand up for what I believe is right. And I KNOW the Tea Party and republicans do the same thing.

PS #5. Raleigh and NC in general are neither liberal nor conservative since 2008. It’s a mixture, man. Nobody owns the city or state. And nobody ever will anymore. So it’s time to stop being so partisan (looks himself in the mirror) and learn to work with one another. It would help, though, (starts to get sarcastic) if ya’ll would stop calling us liberals “parasites”! We’re nor parasites. We’re pathogens! GET IT RIGHT, DAMNIT! :-)

Night!